A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really love my ex and its clear he still shares the same feelings for me. Here's just a brief thing of what happened.Recently my boyfriend of over a year ended our relationship due to the influences of his mum and friend. His mum thought we were getting too serious for our age basically and doesn't see that her son is growing up. She also complained about my attitude towards her because she didn't trust me basically. I always showed her my respect but only got frustrated when she'd go behind my back and complain to my dad about her issues with me. All i wanted was for her to do was to tell me what the problem was to my face so we could resolve it. I told this to my ex all the time.His mum ended our relationship and now he's telling me he's wanted to break up for months. Yet two weeks before the break up he literally proposed to me and always expressed his love for me. I know we had our little problems like me always getting jealous though we always got past them and it made us closer. The day of the break up we spent half of the day together and he got pissed off at his mum for not letting him stay longer and he said when he gets home he's going to tell her how he felt about it. That night he rang me crying his head off saying we might need to break up then his mum took the phone and ended it with no explanation nothing.Now i've lost my best friend and the guy I wanted to give myself to for the rest of my life. Everyone saw our love for each other and how it was growing stronger each day. Now our friendship is growing slowly again but i know eventually we'll become closer and his mum will stop it from happening. I've written him a letter agreeing with what has happened, apologized for my attitudes in our relationship but his mum took the letter from him saying 'I don't want you getting back with her'. We constantly see each other at school which is really hard. He always asks how i am, how my family is, if i'm okay. After school most days he waits to say goodbye to me and gives me a hug (the ones he gave me when we dated. In class i always catch his eye looking at me, my friends have also noticed, and he'll smile and wink at me as well. I've seriously have never felt this way about anyone, I was and still am so in love with him that it hurts not knowing if he'll be in my life. I know i can make our relationship work if i can sort things out with his mum as me and her used to be really close. This is the same for his friend that is getting involved. Is there any advice as to how i may be able to approach his mum with out her thinking i'm a pathetic and desperate girl?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jex  +, writes (5 June 2010):
Unfortunately, because you are both so young, it is his mother's right to decide whether or not her son should be dating or not. However, I do not agree with the way she is handling the situation.
My best guess is that there is something that is making her feel as if this relationship is not good for her son. Are his grades slipping? Are you two sexually active? Has he been arguing with her more often since he began dating you? Is he even allowed to date to begin with? If your relationship with him is causing him to go against his mother's wishes, it's something that is going to make her angry. Parent's don't always understand that forcing their children to break up with someone may just make them defy them more.
The only thing I can suggest for you is to maybe write a letter to his mother, rather than him. Explain how you feel about her son in a respectful way. Make sure you tell her how much you respect her and her feelings as his mother and protector. You could also ask her why she feels the way she feels in attempt to try and fix the situation. If a letter won't work, try calling her or speaking with her directly. If none of those things work, it might be time to realize that if you have true love, it's not going to go away. It may be hard to understand now, but if you love someone, it will be there always. If you're meant to be, you'll be. If not now, then in the future. Keep your head up!
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