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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and i have been together for almost over 2 years not and he has a lot of problems with his mother. at the age of 12 she sent him to military school for no reason.. it ruined him. he still cries when he's alone. He is now forced to sleep in his van because his aunt doesn't let him sleep in the house and his mother will not even stand up for her own son.. i personally loath her because of her lack of love for her own son.. she treats him like a dog to the point that he needs to cook and work for himself.. it hurts him very much.. but he loves her.. since he is under the age of 18 .. he cant leave.. also he loves her very much. he plans to become a firefighter when he graduates and is currently a U.S. Fire cadet. But when they have arguments or when she treats him horrible (like she usually does) he talks about quitting because he cant make anyone happy. i try and tell him to talk about it with me and he simply tells me he is supposedly going to bed when i know he is in a break down state.. i don't know what to do.. knowing he tries his hardest and his mother fails to see that, kills me. also i don't have a close relationship with her.. so what should i do?
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female
reader, EccentricOrbit  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 My heart goes out to both your boyfriend and you; it's not easy to watch somebody you care about self-destruct. You feel the most powerless person in the world.This subject is far too great for you to tackle on your own and your boyfriend cannot deal with it the way he is any longer or he will, in essence, be in a "break down state" permanently. To be frank, I believe he's depressed. First of all, I'd like to state that depression, although it still has some, does not have the social stigma it once did. Your boyfriend has had to face tremendous difficulties in his life and so it can even be expected that he's in such an emotional state.It's also a possibility that he might be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from his experiences with the military school and the emotional abuse from his mother and aunt.I implore you to try and get him to receive professional help. This does not equal anti-depressants. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may be of great use to him. Offer your support in seeing a doctor or therapist to help him.Alternately, if you don't feel ready to consult a doctor (although I strongly recommend it) then ask him to talk to you. Request that he talks about his experience at the military school and his mother. Sometimes it helps to vent but I'm not sure that's all it will take in your case.All the luck and good wishes.
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