A
female
age
30-35,
*aley1289
writes:Ok, brace yourself. This might be a tad bit confusing. So, "Leonidas" and I were together before from November till February until I got pregnant and had an abortion. He clearly has relationship issues which I think are pretty obvious? He grew up in Foster Care, when he was 5 he heard his mother tell her bf that she loved him more than she loved her kids, his last real relationship the girl just up and left him, he always gets hurt, and he clearly sucks at expressing him! Anyways, just a few things to let you guys know a little about him. Well while we were together I was afraid that he might leave me when I told him I was pregnant of him. The second I told him, he was committed. He walked in the blizzard to come pick me up from work and we walked back to his house (which took us 6 hours to do, no exaggerating!), he would feed me the second I told him I was starving, he'd have me over at all hours of the day and everything.But we used to argue like crazy, well one day I told him that I couldn't have the baby with him bc we weren't officially together. And I couldn't have another child with a man I was not dating officially and I had no idea if he would stick around so I lied to him the first time and told him that I got an abortion when I really didn't, I told him this because I thought he would leave me and the baby regardless so I figured, why not remove him from the picture myself before he leaves us. So when I was 14 weeks I decided I should tell him the truth and I went to his house and waited for him and when he got home from work I told him the truth that I was still pregnant and that I shouldn't have lied to him about not keeping the baby. He was extremely upset with me and yelled right onto my face that he didn't want anything to do with me at the moment. I left crying and we didn't speak for two months. We work together and when I knew he'd be around I'd pass by his department looking down. Lately I noticed that he would sort of follow me around at work or he'd stare at me a lot. The guys that he would say hello to at work before, the second he saw me walking with them he stopped saying hi to them. I had let him know a month ago that I really did have the abortion and if he never spoke to me again I would accept it but that I still loved him.Well almost three weeks ago, he texts me out of nowhere (after 1 month and 2 weeks of silence) and it was at 3 in the morning to ask me exactly this," hey just checking up on you and seeing how you are?". I was baffled. It was a Saturday night at 3am at that and he texted me out of thin air to check on me? I responded but I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal. After I had asked him what he was doing and he said he was going to bed (the convo only lasted 10 minutes) I decided to say goodnight without fighting. Another week passes by and I'm on a date with a guy. Something the guy had told me, made me realize that I was truly in love with "Leonidas" and that I wasn't going to get over him anytime soon. So I decided to text him at 10 when I got home from the date. But didn't do so till 3am. When I finally build the courage to text him, all I happened to say was "goodnight loser". He wrote back right away which I found weird because as soon as we had broken up he started to go to bed early (before he had sleeping problems like I do and he would only stay up because he was stressed.) Anyways we texted back and forth until 7 in the morning when I began to tease him about sex. He said that he hadn't been with anyone or haven't been talking to anyone. He had asked me to go over and I told him I wasn't going to go over just for sex. So he said he knew I wasn't that type of girl and that I could stay until the morning. I declined and said that I liked to cuddle after sex and that he stopped liking that for a while so I wasn't going to go. He said he would cuddle with me that he didn't have a problem that he just wanted me to go over. After making it seem like I was going to go, I said no and went to bed. The next day was a Saturday and I decided to text him because I wanted to see him. So I texted him and I noticed his text messages were almost 15-20 minutes apart. So after two hours of one-two word answers I decided he didn't want to speak to me and I tried to cut the conversation short. So I said "ok goodbye, I guess you don't want to talk, its cool." He texted me right away and said," sorry I'm out drinking but I'm heading back home now." I was in shock because he doesn't drink or smoke. As soon as he wrote that he texted me and and said," and since you texted me why don't you come over?" I was a bit upset because when we were together he never took me out dancing or to drink, we'd just got out for dinner and a movie or stay home and cuddle. So I tell him that if he wants to see me he needs to pay a cab. So he does. The very second I get there, he's smiling uncontrollably . He pays the cab and we get upstairs. We talked for a few while he got comfortable and picked a movie for us to watch. After half an hour he finally sets me down on the bed and slowly begins to undress me. From shoes to my leggings. He asked me to take my shirt off and kisses me. I ask him right away why did he ask me to come over and he just answered," because I wanted you to come over". I repeatedly asked him but he kept saying the same thing with a smile. We kissed a few times until I finally ripped his clothes off. He went down on me for almost 2 hours without me touching him at all. Then finally we began to have sex and during sex he'd stop on top of me as if he were smelling my neck and hair. He was gentle. It felt different that the times we had sex before. The whole time he was on top of me he was staring at me biting his bottom lip and he kept asking me if it was good and if I was ok. Then he'd ask me to relax and when I tried to hide my face from his he'd try to find a way to look at my face. During sex he kept asking me if he made me come and if I wanted him to stop and I asked him to remove the condom. He said he was scared and I asked him if he'd been with anyone else, he said no but that's not what he was afraid of. I didn't ask any more questions but he did. He kept asking me if I wanted him and if I was ok and if I wanted him to put a condom back on. When we were done he cleaned me up and cleaned himself. I had to go to work at 8am so I knew I'd have to shower and take a cab to work asap. As soon as we hit the bed, he closed his eyes, smiling hard as ever and said," so are we going to cuddle now or what?" I didn't react because I couldn't believe we actually had sex and he was so gentle and more into making sure I felt good than anything else. We fell asleep cuddled up and I ended up not going to work. A few hours later he woke me up to morning sex which made me really happy I must say! Then when were done he kissed my forehead and began to play his xbox. I lay next to him listening to my music and playing sudoku. At one point he had stopped playing his game and started to watch anime (we both watch it) but I wasn't paying attention. I noticed he was kind of bitchy and said," u want some headphones!" And I said," sorry! U're there watching your shit." He said," you're not even paying attention to the tv" so I turned off my phone and focused on him. I was going to get ready to leave because I thought all he wanted was sex when he asks me what I wanted to watch. So he picked a movie and then says, l I know you you're hungry so what do you want to eat?" I was confused again. So we eneded up picking pizza but I told him I was going to leave after I ate. He didn't say anything. After 5 minutes of trying to convince him that I'd pay for the pizza he ordered and let me pay. He took 3 HOURS just to order. After we ate we saw another movie and he fell asleep. I didn't want to wake him because I knew he was tired. It was like 10 at night and I realized I had spend the whole day with him and he didn't mention me going home at all! So I went to bed but I didn't sleep next to him. An hour later he wakes up, throws the box of empty pizza away, looks at me and goes back to bed on the opposite side. I was upset because I thought he wanted me to leave. So I waited 15 minutes and then put my clothes on and left without saying goodbye to him. The next day we didn't talk at all. On Tuesday I text him and I tell him," hey sorry for leaving without saying bye, I didn't know if you wanted me to leave or stay so I left. Are you mad?" All he said was," nope." And then right after he texts," you left your shit behind." I texted him furiously," if its bothering you so much then tell me, I'll go pick up my "crap" right away" and he never texted me back. Now its been almost two days since we spoke. I'm confused! Did he just want sex? Is he upset with me? Does he still have feelings for me? I don't know what to conclude! Please help!
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abortion, at work, condom, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Naley1289 +, writes (8 April 2011):
Naley1289 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Oh, God. I was afraid someone might say that. I really am not playing games with him its just that I happen to retreat when I get scared just like you. I don't know what he feels anymore because he won't bring it up anymore and I refuse to. I called him last night so he could come downstairs so I could get my stuff back but he never responded. I thought that maybe if he really wanted my stuff out his house he would say something but he didn't. What now prncssGrace?
A
female
reader, prncssGrace  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 It sounds like you're both playing games with each other. And that you both have issues with intimacy. I'm the same a lot of the time. I get so close and it makes me so happy and then I FREAK out and have to be cold or mean because I'm so afraid it won't last. I don't know, it sounds like there needs to be major effort made, or just let it go.
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