A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was seeing this guy. Things were going well. But he seemed to get distant a bit but when i actually saw him, he was fine (all over me). The sex stuff start very quickly (not good). He said that he is scared to get close to anyone. He felt we were to quickly. he said his last relationship ended very badly and he was depressed for a long time.I think there has been a lot of mixed signals. I think he thought i wanted more than i do - he just wants to hang out, not label anything at this point. And im fine with that, but i dont think he knows it.I spoke to him about it, and we seemed to agreed to be friends, But then he said "for now/not ruling it out". I feel like he's keeping me on a string. Minutes after, he still continued to rub my leg. And did a peck on the cheek, but then went in for another, but missed the cheek. He said "we'll talk soon"The last week, he's still distant. He said he "feels depressed" the other day. When i ask whats wrong, he says "im ok". He doesn't respond to text messages much anymore. But there are things that he has said very very recently that tells me he is still interested. He is confusing the hell out of me. Should i just tell him how i feel? how he's making me feel with his weird behavior - he was very different at the start. I keep worrying about it and its making me ill. If he just wants friends, thats ok, but he's keeping me on a string. He might not even be aware of it. At the start, he made me so happy. I was smiling for no reason! and i know he was too. Should i just take the risk, and tell him how i feel, the confused messages he is sending....i want him to know im there for him, coz i think something else is up too. But has said that he doesn't like to tell people his problems and bottles things up. Should i just go for it? Do i have anything to lose really?i cant think of anything else. thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Babe..
I've been there done that..
I dont want to sound like a smart arse or anything, and im not trying to be.
You may not like what ama say but it's true
U stated that the sex started quickly?? And that you knew it wasnt good to do that.
First impressions are everything.. if you're well.. rather 'easy' then chances are they won't have much respect for you.
Hes taking you for a mug.. im sorry.
So what.. he can sleep with you.. but then he can go say its going abit to fast and that hes stressed.. sorry but thats not how it should be! IT TAKES TWO TO MINGLE!
You have nothing to loose hun.. they're are so many more out there.. you have just got to learn to let go!
I really hope all this helped
A
female
reader, Lib1  +, writes (21 December 2008):
 Just leave it. The point wasn't to tell him to his face quit the mixed signals. The guy I was with just HAPPENED to be in my car at the time. Don't worry about it. Give him space, peace out. Do your thing, thats the point.
You have to mentally embrace the words "NEXT!" when it comes to this guy and all the ones after. It is best to not waste your time with people, especially those giving you mixed signals. If you do you'll miss out on someone great... now who wants that? If he were someone great he'll come back. If not? Well then you just freed up some space for the actual great guy to enter your life.
I'm sorry I made it seem like a game before. But the truth is, when you put your foot down its supposed to be genuine not a manipulation. You need to let people know that behavior has no place in your life. Then move on. Its got to be genuine. Good luck. Private message me if you need more advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): ***FROM ORIGINAL POSTER****
Hi Lib1
Well, didn't go to plan! He didn't respond to my text about catching up. But he came on msn. I asked if we can catch up, he said he was busy (even tho he agreed to do something that day!). I said i need to talk. He said "not this again". He thinks im trying to get his attention! I can't believe it!
he said he as a lot going on and not to take it personal. A load of crap. he then said he'll be back in a bit, but never returned. I didn't get to tell him a thing.
who knows when i'll hear from him next...
i wouldn't bother with it usually, but i have so much regret for one reason, which he doesn't know. that is tearing me up.
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (21 December 2008):
Yeah goodluck! and remember it only works if you kick his ass to the curb for a day or so. Make him think its real ;P
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): **FROM ORIGINAL POSTER***
Oh thank you Lib1
Your post made me smile! Thanks so much! Gotta sit him down! I tried to tell him before, but it was over the phone (he kept saying "your freaking me out tell me here"...I wasn't thinking clearly. I was trying to arrange when to see him! lol.
If he wants friends, its ok, but the way he's acting now, friends dont do that. Im sick of people using me!!!!!
thanks again! i will sit him down and tell him to stop with the mixed signals!!
He said the other day via a message " i still smile at your photos..." why tell me that? lol
thanks!
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (19 December 2008):
Haha sounds like my last relationship. So cute I remember that. It happened almost the exact same way. Except when he was in my car I pulled over and told him to get his mixed messaging behind out of my car. He gave me an upset look and tried some excuses but I played deaf pointed to his car and said "OUT!"Well he called me a couple times I didn't pick up he felt all hurt and thought about me differently and left me a long message on facebook. He was super hurt from his last nasty break up and was afraid to take that jump towards something with me because he wasn't sure if it was worth all that pain again. If I hadn't have laid the law down this mixed signal business would have continued until we both last interest. But I called the next day and told him honestly that I loved being around him and a relationship wasn't what I needed or wanted but being around him was exactly what I wanted.It went from there we were together for 2 years... the best 2 years I've had with anyone. My advice. You sit that son of a bitch down and say, "You're confusing me! If you don't stop you're out of here."lol trust me its worth it. ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): ******This is from the original poster*******thanks Liewe Heksie should i tell him how i feel how he's making me feel, how i feel about him, then just leave it? See if he contacts me. If i talk to him, i wont or will try not to make a big deal out of it, just tell him casually but blunty lol. Just so he is aware of it. Then let him do the chasing. I'll drop off the radar a bit! lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I can understand your confusion. Give this guy some space and some time. It sounds as if he have some issues to resolve.He might be seeing somebody else,but he might need time to think about his future and future relationships. There is no point in guessing here and it will just make you miserable to wonder and worry about his actions. Distance yourself from him a little. Don't contact him unless he contacts you. Continue with your life. Go out with friends and see what happens. If he is really "into" you, he will come to you. Don't chase after him, nope, give him time. If he wants you, let him start doing some chasing. He must realize you are not just going to sit around waiting for him. Oh, no...you are not desperate for him and his company. Don't wait for him forever, he is running the risk of losing you. Get out there and enjoy your life. If he wants you, he wil sort himself out and find you.
Good luck!
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