A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost six months. We enjoy each other's company very much and I like him, even thought I loved him at one point. The trouble is we have never indulged in full sexual intercourse just blowjobs and handjobs - which we both seemed to enjoy. He thinks things have moved too fast between us and when I asked him if he just wanted to be friends he said he thinks it might be easier, I asked him if he fancied me too and he said he did though. He is very buttoned up emotionally and finds it really difficult to talk about things. The lack of intimacy is driving me mad as I think two thirty somethings should be all over each other in the first six months - I don't think he would ever touch me if I didn't instigate it. Am I deluding myself that things will change or get better? - should I cut my losses and get out before I fall too deep? Please help.
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female
reader, shania +, writes (2 April 2006):
He sounds like he is emotionally constipated.The problem with this guy is he contradicts himself,he says he fancies you,yet just wants to remain friends.He enjoys the sexual things that you do to him yet says that its going too fast.I must admit,it is strange that he is like this considering you are both in your thirties and have been seeing each other for 6 months.It could be a number of things on why he wont have sexual intercourse with you.The 1st reason is he is worried that he wont be able to perform well....the 2nd reason is his fear of getting you pregnant....the 3rd could be that he lacks intimacy and doesn't know how to cope with that.Trouble is you are not his psychiatrist,your his girlfriend and while you may have feelings for him,i dont think your relationship is making you happy or fullfilling your needs.Have you asked him why he doesn't open up to you? If you have tried all this and he wants to just remain friends,then by staying with him...you are flogging a dead horse.In my opinion,i would dump him and look for someone else,who is going to treat you the way you should be treated,and that's as a proper girlfriend in a proper relationship.
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