A
female
age
51-59,
*aseballgirl
writes:Here is one for the books. I was divorced in 2008 and started dating by boyfriend in 2009. We moved in together and each have 3 children. My ex husband passed away last August and my 3 sons are here with all the time now. I have to admit it was nice to have our weeks off from all the kids. Now there is no free time unless we make it for ourselves and we do do that as much as we can. The problem arises with his ex wife and his 3 kids. His kids are supposed to come over every other week at different times. They have not been coming lately and I was afraid it was because of me and my boys. Which I now know for certain is true. His ex talks horribly about me when they are with her. I don't understand why they would do this to their father. They don't have to like my kids and my kids don't have to like them. But they shouldn't hurt their dad because they are being selfish. I love this man more than anything in the world and would die for him or any of our 6 kids. What can I do to keep our love and life strong and happy. I don't want to leave him but I don't want to be the reason for his saddness. HELP
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bobsky38  +, writes (23 February 2010):
hi i have just gone through this situation and have not managed to find a solution. My ex was doing the same thing to keep his ex and daughter happy but along the way he was so busy keeping them happy he forgot about what it was doing to us. We had been together for six years but split up over it. Your only hope as i see it from past experience is to try and talk to your partner and come to a compromise. try and make him understand how it is making you feel. he can still see his children and spend quality time with them. he just needs to take them out somehere at the weekend. it does not need to be expensive they can go for a walk or out for dinner,cinema or something and then you should spend the other day together. If he wont compromise and consider his new family unit his ex and children will eventually put so much strain on him that it will tear you apart as it has me and my ex. i put up with it for over a year and i know it feels like they are playing happy families. i know how that feels only to well. there has to be some compromise on his part or it just wont work and there should be no secrets otherwise it will just make you feel worse.
good luck hope you manage to sort it out. i feel for you i really do.
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