A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this guy who has a girlfriend, he's telling me that he plans on breaking up with her but he doesn't want to hurt her. As things come to a close between him in this girl (she knows about me) I get early in the morning a lot of text messages telling me to go away he don't want you. I tell her tell him to call me say that to me and I will be gone. So he calls and I ask what do you have to say to me he said nothing. I said are you sure you, do you know I was talking to your girl right. He said yes and then I hear his girl yelling saying he's lying and I hear his girl say she's pregnant, then I said I'm gone!(I always told him if he wanted to be with her stay but he said he wants me and thing will never be the same between them because of what has happen in the past) I hung up. He said he don't believe her she's making it up just so he won't leave her. He said she told him yesterday I love this man and I know he loves me, just don't want to start something while they are together. (She thinks more is going on than there really is) emotionally yes he has cheated on her but phyysically we have not crossed that line. I don't know whay to do next?please help
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (3 March 2009):
 He needs to pull up his big-girl panties and stand up for what he wants. Either you or her.
There isn't much you can do, that ball is in his court. His situation with her has nothing to do with you, and he shouldn't let you get dragged into it. If he doesn't believe that she's pregnant, then he needs to ask her to have a home test done or have them both go to the doctor. If he doubts he is the father, then he needs to wait 9 months.
I'm not advocating him leaving her for you, but if he isn't enjoying being with her, then he needs to leave at least for his own sanity.
Don't let him play this game with you. Be understanding of the position he's in, but be firm that he needs to know waht he wants.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): Honestly you need to leave him alone. You are putting yourself in a bad situation. You never want to be the girl on the side, or the mistress, or the sloppy seconds girl. You will never get any respect. These guys are liars and will say anything to get their cake and eat it. He is not going to leave her. If he really wanted you and wanted to leave her, he would have done it a long time ago. He is not telling her the things that he's telling you. He's playing both of you. You don't need that, you deserve better. So go get yourself someone's that's single and that's gonna love you & only you. Leave that loser alone. He's gonna get his.
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