A
female
age
30-35,
*hick989
writes:I'm 18 and very much in love with my 49 year boyfriend of a year. We've had a lot of ups and downs through having so much grief from everyone. He treats me like a princess and the only issue we have with our relationship is other people. Six months into the relationship we decide to finish as it was hurting too many people but we realised we just couldn't live without each other. I love my mum dearly and have told her that we're finished but deep down she knows. Everyone has come to terms with it (minus my parents who don't know the real truth). There is just one person who just can't accept us, his daughter - she's 16 at first she appeared to be fine with the relationship as his ex was 21.I work saturdays and he has her sunday (our only day free together) so we would all have to spend time together, I talked to her just as i would a friend even though i found her very very immmature for her age. At the start people would ask if i found it strange why my boyfriend would want to be going out with someone the same age as his daughter. I questioned it myself but it didn't take me long to realise she's not your typical 16 year old girl to say the least. She is really unappreciative of whatever her dad does for her and tries to make him feel guilty even though he has been there for her and her brother every weekend ever since they've been born. She's very rude to everyone including her nan, i would never dream of speaking to people in the way she does. She demands money from her father (he pays maintenance) but just earns enough to put food in his stomach, he's at rock bottem and even had to move back in with his mother this summer due to financial difficulties. The mother of his children is married and has a 9 year old daughter but for some reason wants to make my boyfriend's life hell and always has done. She reported him to the council for moving in with his mum and kicks up a fuss if we want to go away for the weekend (once in a blue moon). For example, a month ago he told his daughter that he wouldn't be around last weekend because he was going away with me, she then threw money in his face and said well when are you taking me away, i need clothes etc. Her mother then got involved and is demanding more maintenance. I don't know what to do, we rarely do anything due to money, he's in so much debt and can't even afford to rent a room in a bed sit. The daughter has a stinking attitude but she's fine with me when she wants to be. I arranged to meet him at 5.0.clock on sunday and she looked up and said 'i'm going if lucy's coming over' even though she had added me on facebook the day before and doesn't mind me being there when she wants to come round to use the laptop etc. She won't go out with her friends and will be there all weekend just so that he doesn't have time alone with me. She seems to resent him, he's really depressed and wants to run away from everything. Please give some advice, i want to be with him - he's the most loving and caring man and his family just seem to walk all over him :( what can he do to stop the jealousy of her and stop her mother getting involved?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Of course he treats you like a princess. He adopted you as his new daughter because his original daughter is such a brat. Now the true daughter is jealous because the new big sis gets all the attention.
I wont start on the age difference, you already understand that point. His daughter resents you, and no matter how nice you are, she'll always have something against you. It's not personal, she just doesn't like being traded in for another model. And her mother probably has the same issue. Did it occur to you that they might treat your boyfriend this badly because of you?
As for him, I don't understand him, you said he used to date a 21 year old? And that doesnt ring an alarm bell in your head? Be very careful dating this man. He's got many many years ahead of you, and might very well know how to get his way with you and manipulate you.
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