A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Well, here I am again... I have been on here a number of times. Pretty soon you all will know me because I am the 65 year old woman that has been dating a 69 year old man for 3 years and 10 months with no engagement or marriage in the future. He has a son-in-law that is a bully and a controlling freak. Since he did not really break up with me week before last, this son-in-law has banned him from coming to his house to see this mans daughter and grandchildren. I guess he thinks that if this goes on long enough, that my man will miss his daughter and grandchildren and will break up with me so that he can have this privilege back. This is this bully's way of controlling my man's relationship and everything about it. My man is co-dependent and has always had too close a relationship with his kids. It is actully hurting them but he thinks that it is helping them. Both of his grown children (36 and 40 yrs old) have bad marriages. They really do not understand what dating relationships are and this is why they tell my man that I am too posessive. This is the way that it appears to them because knowing these people I just know that they truly did not have real good dating relationships. If they did, then they would not have married the people they did. As I have said before, I have not been allowed to participate with my man's family in 15 months. They will not include me and what does my man do about it...? Nothing. He has no backbone and will not stand up for me. Actually I think that this is a role reversal. My man has become the kid and his kids have become the parents. His daughter did not talk to him for 10 days in the last two weeks. She had hung the phone up on him and he did not call her until this past Thursday. She told her dad that he had broken her heart because he told them two weeks ago that we had broken up and he did try this but I refused and we have stayed together. It would make their day and year for us to break up. Last evening his son and daughter-in-law carried him out to dinner for his birthday and of course I couldn't go. He said that our relationship was not mentioned and I was not mentioned. They just act like my man's and my relationship does not exist. I usually tell him how hurt I am that they do not include me. I tell him this when I know that he is getting ready to leave without me to go see them or out to eat with them. Do you think that if I acted like I don't give a crap when he gets ready to leave to go see them, do you think that this would take the fire out of it? Please tell me what you think. I am trying to find a way so that it is not a big deal because I think that his kids and him are getting a thrill out of the fact that they will not allow me to participate. Also my family has always allowed and included him in all of our family's function. My daughter wants me to stop including him so that he will find out what it feels like to be not included. She is also upset because he will tell me, "they just don't like you". Please tell me what you think I should do. thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 October 2008):
 I think you should dump his wimpy ass and find a real man. This situation is apparently unfixable since he won't/can't stand up to his children. You are right he's become the child. I don't think you'll be able to find any real happiness with this guy. Sorry but it's time to cut bait and go.
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