A
female
age
41-50,
*ucci_hk
writes:I need some help....I am an asian girl who is 27 and parents are wanting me to get married. 27 is deemed as old and potentially off the shelf material if you dont find a guy soon.I registered on the asian dating website and started speaking to this guy....he is only a day older than me and we connected amazingly.We have been talking for 4 months etc..... and he told me he loves me which is fantastic..cos i feel the click is there as well. On sunday he decided to tell his parents about us....to tell them that basically he wants to take things one step further with me and start dating in the open.....His parents said no because i wasnt the same cast as him. I.e i wasnt a patel...even though we are the same religion. He didnt share this with me till monday morning for all of 20 seconds before he had to get back to work. he is the only child and very close to his parents therefore respects them.Basically I havent heard from him after that, i have called him a few times and sent him an email....still nothing.what do i do.......have i lost him forever even though he told me he loved me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, gucci_hk +, writes (21 June 2007):
gucci_hk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionpart 2
He must of know his parents would disagree when he started talking to me so why continue it?
also he wouldnt of told his parents if he wasnt serious..and now to totally disappear...its crazy.
There really arnt any cultural differences because we are both the same religon, just different casts....ie both speak the same language and have the same god! (not that, that makes a difference)
Also i have many patel friends and each and every one of them has married outside their cast....its so normal these days.
Anyway i wanted to thank you all for your help
Sometimes strangers are the people who tell you the truth
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): i feel for you, today my boyfriend of a different religion has told me that he has thought about ways of telling his parents about me but thinks theres no way they'd accept me, and doesnt want to hurt their feelings. he is an only son as he had a younger brother who died at an early age, he has one sister who is already married, and feels its his responsibility to obey his parent's wishes. i feel there is no future for us, and think the same for your situation, for various reasons. i have come across guys and girls that would do anything to be with their partner, and this sort of situation where the parents dont approve can go one way or the other, i think once it goes one way- it will never turn around, and seems that for your situation like for mine these guys cannot stand up for us.. maybe they do not want us in that strong/ unconditional way.. which itself is a painful thought but not something we can change (but you should know deep down you will be happier when you find someone who can show u these sort of feelings that your guy was unable to exhibit).. unfortunately heart break happens, and you have to believe that everything happens for a reason, we cannot see the future but im sure one day we will look back and find a reason to everything that happened in the past.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181  +, writes (21 June 2007):
Don't panic. Family has a lot of influence when it comes to situations like these. Back off him for a little bit and he will call you and let you know what is going on. I understand that there are cultural differences, but if this guy doesn't come through, you still have time to find someone else. Call him in a few days and keep the message brief - not needy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Look , we need to talk I am have the same peoblem. For five years I is have been in this relationship and his family dont like it. I know I have to move on but it hard. You only talked by email and the phone. Men can say and do anything. We have to know the difference. Dont call him, dont email him. If he want you he will. If he dont move on the right person is out their for you. I am 33 and I am the only female in my family of age not married. When its you time and my time it will come we just have to wait on it. Good luck Keep your head up
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