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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating an older man for almost 2 yrs. i am older too. we are both widowed and his family as he has said it--- is trying to protect his freedom. they are against me and they do not want him to have anyone but to be available to do for them whatever they need for him to do. they are very selfish and they do not understand they cannot be with him all of the time and therefore he would be coming home to an empty home. His family do not realize that there are boundaries and they are very critical about me. I think that he is the only one that can stop them and I have told him this. please let me know what you think. I want to get married but he is very attached to his daughter and is afraid that she will get upset as she has not gotten over her mothers death which was almost 6 yrs ago. thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 This is a very tough situation. I do think it is up to the father to tell his kids that he loved their mother very much but now he is alone and needs your companionship. They may raise a stink at first but will gradually come around when they realize this doesn't mean they're losing their father as well. He just needs to summon the courage to tell them. If his kids realize that their selfishness is causing their father to be lonely and unhappy they should snap out of it. He needs your support and encouragement. Good luck.
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