A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is he nervous or uninterested?I'm in tears right now :( I just don't know what to do anymore.Theres a guy who i like so much, you know when you just click with someone. I've known him for about 3 years and weve always thought each other were good looking, but he never spoke to me much.The past year he started talking online, and we get on well and kept saying he wanted to take me on a date but he always flaked, and disappeared after i agreed (despite me being sooo beautiful in his words).I put my foot down and said look take me out or just leave it. So he finally did..last minute but yeh.. we had a great time and he was saying how much he wants to take me out again the following week.Then poof... disappeared for about 6 weeks.. not a word, and he pretty much ignored me.Then i seen him out and about just over a week ago and we ended up spending all day together, and he was begging me for a second chance saying he had family problems and he was an idiot and was nervous. I said yes, and since then hes been flaking again.and not replying very fast online.And i once again put my foot down and he was like there once again with his legit excuses why he hasnt been online and suggested a date we should go out and mentioned how nervous he was because im really good looking and nice. i messaged back asking why hes nervous? and suggested a date when i was free. hes seen the message but not replied back since yesterday. I've just rang him earlier to see if he wanted to hang out , something casusal. but he cancelled my call and hes not going to be at work or anything. (he doesnt have credit so he wont be ringing me back either)I know hes not a player, and he does seem really insecure and shy in general but its just wrecking my brain. Im so sick of getting my hopes up about seeing him then being let down, and im trying to tell him 'look take me out or lets leave it!' but i can never get hold of him, ..just waiting days for a reply online.I really like him, and i dont know wether hes just nervous about me, or starting to get to know someone/commitment in general . or whether hes just leading me on for his ego/ doesnt know what he wants.I dont know what to do, i just want to put my foot down once and for all but he always have an legit excuse; and if it is just because its nervous its hard to leave it cause we get on amazing:(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 February 2014):
 I agree with llifton... when a man is INTERESTED in you, you will know it.
this one is a time waster... whether on purpose or because he's just a flake...
I'd let it go. I'd not contact him and if he does ask to see you I'd say "sorry I'm no longer interested"
he's a game player. he's not worth the psychic energy you are expending towards figuring him out.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2014):
 You are wasting your time on him. You can stomp or put your foot down a million times, he is who he is.
I would stop putting all your hopes on this one. He might have some kind of anxiety, but I kind of doubt it since you two have had one date that went great and hung out another day just fine.
My guess is, he either HAS a GF already OR he is just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 February 2014):
 I would leave it. as a generalization, typically men like to be the ones to chase and when they are really interested, you will know.
In my opinion, it sounds like he's not interested. Otherwise, he'd be calling and chasing after you. he'd find a way to make it happen. He sounds like way too much of a flake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014): hmmm, i think you should have a serious talk with him if you can, face to face. i mean, deadly serious. tell him you're not happy with being stood up all the time and if he doesn't stop, you're gonna drop him.'cos thats wut you should do.you shouldn't spend your free time with a person who just keeps standing you up. good luck x!
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