A
female
age
41-50,
*arisa
writes:I recently got involved with a guy I met a while ago, after swearing that I will never fall for another guy after my last break up 6 months ago. He has also been single for 6 months and also has a son out of the previous relationship. It was no problem accepting his previous lover as I also have a son and get along great with my exs. But recently he started opening up to me, telling me that his ex now wants him back again. It's a daily struggle, as she stops eating, neglects her son, and threatens to leave town and take his son with. To me it all feels like she is just playing with his feelings. Day by day it gets worse. I told him that I would step back and let go but he doesn't want me to. He is confused and doesn't know who to choose, as he loves her but has fallen in love with me. I dont know what to do and feel like letting go of it all together. She has cheated and broken him in so many ways, what would still make him want to go back?
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female
reader, cardsgirl  +, writes (21 September 2007):
I am have been where you are. Dont stay. It will just hurt you in the long run. He will go back to her if he still has feelings for her and its obvious he does or he wouldnt let her manipulate him. Until he can get past his feelings of rejection and insecurities over her cheating on him etc. he will not be over her and you will be the one to get hurt. Im sorry if i sound cruel but i was in a relationship with a man for 2 yrs. Him and his ex was seperate for 4 yrs before we got together. She left him for another man and slept around with anyone that would have her. He swore he didnt want her and that she disgusted him with her sleeping around. When we got together and she knew he was in a new relationship, she decided she wanted him back. I tried to tell him this and he didnt believe me. Thought I was being paranoid. One night she got him to her house to 'discuss' the kid and started telling how much she wanted him back and that she wanted to be a family again and he fell for it and slept with her. He said looking back after the fact that he always just wanted one more time of her wanting him to prove he was a man since the way she left him for someone else made him feel worthless and unmanly. Not good enough. So when she wanted it, he gave in to the temptation. He regrets it now and wishes it had never happened and is disgusted with himself but it did happen and I was the one to pay the price with a broken heart and more. You need to leave him and let him get his feelings worked out. Then when he is sure of who he wants and has gotten over her, you two can talk about a relationship if you havent moved on by then, but dont open your heart up to be cheated on because he hasnt let go yet. Good Luck. I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): He obviously loves her.... If she has done all these things and he still wants her back.... and if you love him you will let him go.... maybe he needs time to appreciate and see what he might be missing
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