A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my friend have liked each other for a couple weeks now. We've held hands and kissed and hugged but in private not public. Problem here is his ex is my friend and she had broken up with him 5 months ago and I don't know if we should continue this. I don't want her to feel bad if she finds out. The other problem is that I don't know if we're going anywhere. He initiates the hugs and kisses and holding hands but I don't know. I'm not sure if he's over her and if she over him. What should I do? I really like him but there's a lot at stake.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 You have both admitted to each other now that you both like each other. Am sure your friendship means a lot to you as well. Girls should always stick together and be honest with each other. So if she is a good friend well then be honest with her, don't hide it from her, because it will damage the friendship. Ask her to meet you for a drink or lunch some day tell her that you like this guy and ask her how she feels about it. I know it is your life and it is up to you who you date but it shows respect if you talk to your friend about it and ask her would it be a problem in the friendship if you started seeing her ex. She might be OK with it, but either way am sure she would respect you being truthful and honest with her.
As for this guy, well it has only been a few weeks and am sure nothing to serious has developed between the both of you yet. But talk to him and ask him is he over your friend. Just tell him you don't want to be caught up in something that could get very messy and just ask him to be completely honest with you about his feelings. It may be rebound on his part, or it may be the start of something very good. Just take things slow and see what the future holds.
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