A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend lives with me, and I am completely in love with him. I am looking forward to our future and possibly a marriage (They were separated when our relationship begun).But his ex wife is crazy! She makes up lies about me and tells their 4 kids that I am a homewrecker. She has come over to our house and assaulted my car in the driveway. Makes up every excuse possible to come and see the kids on the days we have them. Calls my boyfriend every day begging him back, telling him how much she loves him. She came into my house one day and harassed me for hours asking me questions like " how much are you paying him to stay with you?" Or " Do you think he would really be with you if you didn't have money?" . She tried to fight me when we were at the hospital when my boyfriend broke his leg. She calls the house and harasses me when she finds out he is not home. Curses at me, threatens me, and told his mom that I was trying to control him with money. My boyfriend sad she wasn't like this until she found out that we were together. How much am I supposed to take?? He and I never argue unless we are arguing about her. He refuses to block her from texting him because it might be an emergency. So what do i do? How much do I take? And to put the cherry on top, I am late, so I might be pregnant. I just don't know what to do
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2015):
 I totally agree with Honeypie.
She does what she does because she gets a reaction.
You can and should block her 100%
if she gets abusive on your property you call he police and have her removed.
HE needs to deal with her and interaction with her that he accepts that is NOT about the children is his choice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2015): oh dear he started young and he made four kids in that short space of time.Is he and the wife similar ages and are you the same age or the youngest of the bunch....and by that i mean the youngest of the adults.It all must have happened at the speed of light.When you think of it that way it sounds like a teenage romance on their part that rapidly moved to engagement and pregnancy.Four kids would quite possibly mean it all happened within five or seven years and each of those babies needed loving and hugging and burping and clothing and injections on time and sleepless nights when they got ill...and parties for birthdays and xmas presents and shoes that actually fit and sox that match and faces to wipe and nappies to change and all that while theyre still at the age before potty training.After that theres watching what goes in the mouth and getting them started at school and arguements and tantrums to solve.No wonder this wife is angry.Her dream mustve turned into one long round of constant weariness from pregnancy and memories of birth and delight at the child and bingo yet another delightful announcement.Im thinking this guy doesnt believe in birth control.Possibly not even in that wearying time six weeks after birth when he's hungry for sex and the bleeding has finally dried up and the woman has just managed to discard the pads or tampons.Now you may be yelling TMI " I'm only 21 and never had a baby and i dint want to think past the nursery with the wind chime in it!"But here you are the fifth element in this whole scenario !And late.Maybe pregnant!Get those tests done now, immediately.Any test will do because you need to know right now.And you have either to have your period or embark on a similar course to his wife.Please take oral contraception whatever you do in the aftermath because he is fertile and he doesnt carry the kids to birth and doesnt stick around enough afterwards.His hungry pecker will be out pecking around and i dont know if thats to escape from his money troubles or just bcause he likes sex every night and cant get to sleep without it.Oh i can see why the wife is angry.Is he divorced?Your dream was to maybe get married.Is that even a current legal possibility?You know some guys will tell a gal that they have separated from wifey when wife has just gone to mums for a coupla weeks to give the kids a busmans holiday.Separated in this case means she is absent far enough so that he cant pull her panties down.So unless ive got the wrong end of the stick you maybe in quite a dilemma here.Forget about the wife and think about you.You do have some cash so far.But married to him and with his earnings garnished to pay for the little ones you may be feeling like you got more than you bargained for.She will always be angry.He let her down and left her to deal with four kids alone.That was not written into their original plan.It was never a case of love romance and marriage and four kids and then i leave you for some chick who doesnt have kids and can help me to pay my way.For you it was clearly a naive romance, probably fun and sexy with a "crazy ex".Chances are you may be booted into a crazy ex category after his dick started to rise elsewhere.So as you ask for advice i suggest you think about what you want in your life and wether its likely to be a reality or not.Are you prepared to be another single mum?Could you handle his betrayal?I dont think you are gonna make it down the aisle in white .But your feelings are your own and i think you need to be certain of the facts before you proceed further in anxiety.
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A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (13 November 2015):
 His ex clearly seems like she isn't accepting the fact that you guys are together. And if he's not dealing with it properly, personally I would put an order against her, cause she seems too out of hand. Let the police know that she harasses you and cyber as well as emotional and mentally abuses you and it's not healthy. Tell them that you would like if the contact is only to do with the case of an emergency for the kids and you want an order for her no where near your house. It might help if your boyfriend doesn't sort it out. On top of that, you think you're pregnant, you can't be stressing over a possessive baby mother.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 November 2015):
 1. Don't talk to her. LET HIM deal with her. 100% of the time. She calls the land-line and he isn't home, FEEL free to hang up! You don't HAVE to stand in YOUR own home and listen to her abusing you.
If she calls your cell, either block her number or REFUSE to pick up. IF your BF is home, hand HIM the phone so HE can deal with her.
He DOES need to be in touch because they SHARE kids, there is NO way around her. They have kids... so SHE will always be part of the kids lives and HIS LIFE. Nothing you can do or say with change that.
Now he can REFUSE to get into texting about how she feels. He can cut her short if she is calling and it's NOT an emergency or about the kids.
If he is CHOOSING to "let" her call and beg and whatnot, then HE is getting something out of it.
IT IS (not yelling here, just trying to emphasis the issue) HIS JOB to set boundaries for her.
And IF she again assaults your person, your car/house whatever, CALL the police GET the police involved. It might make her back off. You "let" her get away with stuff she will create as much drama as she can.
And if she still won't stop, your BF get a lawyer and start using a 3rd person for drop-off and pick ups.
I get that you are annoyed by her, but really, HE is the one who NEEDS to put a stop to it, and so far... he hasn't - he is enabling her drama-llama circus show and YOU end up being the target.
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