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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi there. My bf just had his 25th birthday and the both of us went out with his family and friends to a restaraunt and we were having a great time up until the end of the evening when one of his exes called to say happy birthday to him. I didn't know who had called him and everyone began singing happy birthday and he stayed on the phone the entire time they sang. I was thinking it had to be a relative or something wishing him a happy b-day and later when everyone was leaving I asked who it was and he said it was one of his exes. My heart just dropped and I felt so bad. Here he is on his birthday, me literally sitting next to him while he chats with one of his exes on the phone. We had already talked before about me not liking the idea that he calls his exes and vice versa (his exes calling him is beyond his control I know) but he could have at least not answered it right there and then especially with me sitting next to him. I felt like here the past is being brought up again and when can I expect the next call from another one of his exes to come? Christmas? New Year's Day? Valentine's Day? His next birthday? It really bothers me that he still talked to her, on his birthday with me right next to him sitting like a fool thinking he was talking to a relative or something, and it makes me wonder if he'll ever break the ties. I already told him it really upset me, and lately I haven't wanted to talk to him. I don't want to let it go because I felt like he disrespected me after we had already talked about it beforehand of how mcuh it bothered me. How would he like it if I was talking to my ex on my birthday with him right next to me? He'd have a fit. Last night he called me at 12 saying he felt like I was avoiding him and I said what had happened still bothered me and I didn't feel like talking: we did talk about it, but ended up in an argument and just said good night tersely to one another. He gave me a text message today saying he loves me and hopes I have a good day,(I didn't write anything back) but I can't help thinking about what happened and the fact if he talked to her then, how about when I don't see him? He lives 30 min. away from me and we don't see each othr everyday. It makes me doubt him or think he could be cheating on me. Now I can't get it out of my head. Can anyone help? Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I just wnated to thank everyone who gave me advice on here. Yeah, it would have bothered me if it was a random girl that called him or a female co-worker: I'd think to myself they have his phone number? Since when did this happen? It would still bother me, but in any case we did end up resolving it, and he said the calls would stop and I did tell him I felt it was disrespectful he talked to her while I was right next to him: true he could ahve hidden it away, but that doesn't mean I want him to feel like that's okay to do whenever I'm around and still have contact with them when I'm his current girlfriend. He said he was sorry and that it would stop, so I feel better about it. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
A
female
reader, Raona +, writes (15 September 2006):
 Sweetheart, he spoke to his ex girlfriend, casually while you were sitting there. I'm sure that this shows that he has nothing to hide. And there is also the fact that he could of hid the fact he was talking to her at the end of the night and you would have been none the wiser to it. Appreciate his honesty, and maybe sit down and explain to him that he's hurting you by having contact with his ex partners.
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A
female
reader, helpmiplz  +, writes (15 September 2006):
The same thing is happening in my relationship right now..maybe even a little worse. I know EXACTLY how you feel, believe me and it sucks. But you HAVE to talk to him, because you will feel so much better. Tell him you want him to have no contact with them or at least have respect for you not to talk to them alot, if at all. I have alot more advise but I gotta go, you can message me if you want though.Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): You had already told him before this latest incident, how much his talking to his ex(exes) regardless as to who initiated the call while he was with you, bothers you.
Then he calls at midnight yesterday, wondering why you are avoiding him.....duh....he should have known WHY! But, as you said, that call ended in an argument.
Since he has continued this kind of behavior, you have to think that he may not change - you have told him repeatedly, how much it upsets you, after all.
Now, I would think that you have to decide whether you can live with it, or whether you want to throw in the towel and end the relationship.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): Theirs no real answer to this, you should try to forget it and try to trust, in my mind him sitting next to you and no hiding away was a good facter it should tell you hes not up to something good luck!
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