A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this married guy for 17 months. He moved out from the house that he lived in with his wife and 3 kids about 15 months ago and moved in with is sister. Our relationship was a secret to his friends and family for about a while, but its been in the open for the past 12 months. We refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and his kids and family members know of me and we spend time together ocassionally. We have been threw a lot in the last couple of months such as an unwanted pregnancy and I contracted an STD from him which he said he had no idea that he had. We are very good friends and lovers and love each other dearly, but although I love him with all my heart and want to be with him I still can't et comfortable with the fact that he is still married and might not be getting a divorce soon. He said he will at the end of this year, but I dont feel as though I should wait around.I am 30 and want kids soon- he already has 3. I want to tell him I want to end the relationship because of this but dont know how, What should I say? What should I do?
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 This is what happens when you mess around with married men. Lot's of heartache. At least you know that you have to end it. The best way is to tell him directly, keep it short and to the point. Tell him "This is not working out, we want different things in our lives. I'm ready to settle down and have kids and i doubt that you are ready for more." He might convince you otherwise, but you have to be strong, end it, and most important have NO CONTACT with him. Sounds hard but this is the only way for you to move on with your life.
The other option is to stay with him for another 17months while he may or may not get divorce.
A
female
reader, indecisive1  +, writes (18 September 2008):
I think you may as well give him until the end of the year, it's already September, If he doesn't show signs of doing it by then at least you know you gave him the opportunity and won't always be wondering what would have happened if you had waited a few more months.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): I'm sorry but you should not be seeing a married man!
End it...neither of you have respect for marriage his kids or his wife. If he can leave his wife and three kids then what do you think he will do to you.
He's a cheater and a very low person.
You should learn from your mistake and move on.
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