A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:About a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and two months. I still love him, and he says he still loves me. It's all very confusing.Basically, his Dad installed a tracking device on his laptop, and read through our MSN conversations, and found out that we'd had sex. Before anyone judges me, we waited until we'd been going out for over a 10 months before even thinking about it. We were safe, and our first time was around a week after our 1 year anniversary. Through reading our MSN conversations (we have to talk over MSN- we go to different schools, he lives a fair distance from my house, neither of us can afford phone bills etc), his Dad found out about it.His dad went nuts at us. He stopped him from seeing me for about 6 weeks, and told him that we didn't really love eachother, that it was just lust and infatuation (it's probably fair to mention that I had been completely in love with this boy from when I first met him, when I was 11.) He wore him down, until we saw eachother at last. The only reason he was allowed out was because he had told his Dad he was going to end it with me. When we got to the park where we hang out (We tended to get cups of coffee and walk/in the summer we took a picnic rug and ate sandwiches there.) When we got to the park, he told me everything that had happened (he hadn't had a chance up until then because his Dad could read our msn conversations, and on the rare occasion we phoned eachother, his Dad would stand nearby to listen in.) I, of course, was disgusted. I felt like I'd had my privacy violated, and I knew that I would be judged by his Dad, even though I had waited until we were both ready, and had only ever been with that one boy. We agreed that no matter what, we would keep on fighting for our relationship. However, the next week, he saw me, and told me that although he still loved me, he no longer got butterflies when he saw me, and he was starting to doubt the strength of our relationship. He also told me that he had received another speech from his Dad about how our relationship would come to nothing. We broke up the next day.I honestly don't know what to do. He promised that he'd always be there for me, and for the first week after we broke up, he told me that he loved me every day, until his Dad read our MSN conversations, and told him he was giving me false hope. Since then, he very rarely talks to me on MSN and he doesn't reply to texts.I don't know what to do. I can't be without him, it feels like I have a hole ripped through me, or I'm being stabbed, because I miss him so much, and when it doesn't feel like that, I just feel numb.I need some advice on how to talk to him, and try and talk him round into giving it another go, because I know that nothing is worth the amount of pain that I'm in at the moment, and I don't want him to be feeling the same.Please, how can I talk to him/try and get him back?Thank you.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 How old are the two of you? Are you under the sexual age of consent? Maybe that has something to do with it. As a parent his dad might be trying to keep his son safe - not necessarily from you, but from the potential issues such as teen pregnancy, statutory rape charges and so forth.
And as hard as it may sound breaking up is never easy. I can not imagine what your BF is going through dealing with his dad.
You can't MAKE him want to keep trying. I know and understand that that is what YOU want, but I think your ex wants to please and obey his father more then he wants a relationship with you.
He made you a promise that he can't keep. He will NOT be there for you always. No one rarely is. The notion of "happily ever after" is a grand idea, but rarely works out in reality.
It IS OK to mourn the relationship, but, you also need to start to heal and maybe even move on. Pining after him, is not helping your broken heart & soul. Neither is it helping him dealing with his decision.
Maybe he will come to the realization that he can't be without you either, but that is not something you can count on, or put your life on hold for.
I'm sorry honey. **HUGS**
A
female
reader, shiza  +, writes (1 January 2011):
dear, i can understand the pain u are feeling.its terrible. i am sure ur boyfriend is also feeling the same. i feel that u both are very young to understand the relation of love.you are ready to face everything to get him back?is he ready for the same?i think he is too timid and does not want to face the consequences. if you hang around with this guy in future also, u will be hurt,he wants to play safe baby. he is a dads boy cannot go against him. so concentrate on your study, hang around with your best friends. enjoy life. i wish you get some one who will never ditch you for any body. all the best
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