A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am madly in love with my boyfriend. I would do anything for him. Over the last 8 months or so he has been under house arrest while attending college 2 hours away. I spent every weekend driving to see him even though I myself have a very hectic schedule between work and school. About a month and a half ago his terms of house arrest were suspended for good behaviour. Since then I hardly exist. He never spends time alone with me unless it's purely sexual. He has become very controlling over me to the point that there are TV shows that I cant even watch. I only get to see him on weekends and know that he can pretty much do as he pleases I dont get to see him unless he wants to get layed. This wouldnt bother me as much but if i decide to go out with my friends he gets upset with me so I've been sitting alone at home every weekend. He wont listen when I try and tell him that something is bothering me he just gets mad at me. Everyone is telling me to break it off but I cant. I love this man with all my heart. I just want to make him see what he's doing to me or I want to make him want to be with me and i'm unsure how to do this. Please help I know its alot to ask but I want to marry this man. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are all right especially flower girl. I have given everything and yet I'm the one who is sad. I am going to try and play this game. It might not be who I am but if it brings back the relationship we once had then I'm willing to try. He wasnt like this before his house arrest and there is no need for him to be like this know. Let the games begin! Thank you for you advice and I will keep you posted. If you have any idea's of how to play this game please let me know cause by nature I hate making people feel bad or hurt them in any way. So any tips or suggestions would be much appriciated. Thank you!
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 personally i think you are mad wanting to stay with him but i know what it is like when you are in love with someone that much, so myonly suggestion is play him at his own game don't be at his beck and call if he does not want to see you one weekend act not bothered go out with your friends and ignore his calls, if he asks you to come over your too busy with most men this does the trick it's worth a try seen as you are not prepared to give him up, if this does not work then i would move on.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 I'm sure all the time you spent driving to see him, all the energy you spent comforting him, supporting him is immeasurable. I bet that comfort you provided came from a place of love and generosity.
It's a shame your boyfriend is taking you and all of that for granted.
Ask yourself this: If things were to stay the same as they are now, and he didn't change at all, would you be happy? Would you want to stay with him and marry him? If you're unhappy now, imagine how unhappy you'll be in a year.
It's maybe pointless for me to say to you that people don't change for other people. You saw him when he was under house arrest, and I assume every thing was great then. Now you see a changed man, who has all his freedoms and liberties again. Like two different people, maybe?
Which man is the real, authentic man you've been dating? The man who was under house arrest or the one who is free?
I have a good feeling the authentic boyfriend you're dating is the one you see right now... the controlling, dominating, neglectful, emotionally abusive man.
The man you saw who was under house arrest was desperate, needy, insecure, horney and probably BORED.
Now, he sees you when he's horney. He doesn't need your top half, just your bottom half. Makes you feel like a piece of meat, maybe? It's because you're being treated like a piece of meat. Don't stand for it any longer. Your friends are right. Kick this con-man to the curb.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (12 June 2007):
 He sounds like a bit of a plonker. Wanting to do what he wants to do but not wanting you to go out and have any fun.
Well I say screw him. Not literally obviously.
If you cant live your life then whats the point?! It's not fair he can go out and have fun and you cant. You need to put your foot down or he will keep doing this.
He needs to understand he cant expect you to sit at home bored while he goes out and parties or he doesnt want sex. The next time he feels horny and decides he wants some then say no just like he does when you tell him you're going out. He wont like his own own game.
xxxxxxxxx
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