A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:ive been kind of seeing this guy since january i found that he really liked me and made the mistake of sleeping with him the first night.He started talking about would i have anymore kids and marriage and i freaked and later on i told him i wouldnt have another kid and would possibly marry if i met the right guy.He said it was just bedroom talk and that he had his job i dont understand that sort of bedroom talk.I ended up finishing it and realised id made a mistake he said that we should just be friends the compliments stopped and the peck on the lips stopped and the more ive tried to get things back to the way they were the more we have pushed each other away i wished i knew how he really felt as i do have feelings for him i know that hes really stubborn. i tied him out the other day a guy at college has asked me out and i told him about it to see whay his reaction would be and he told me to go for it.i was gob smacked because that wasnt what i expected and i dont want this other guy what am i to do. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Like I said in answer to the exact same question that you messaged me privately - it could have been in anticipation of getting his leg over. There was no need to block me for my answering honestly. If you can't take the answers, don't ask the questions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Are you sure you've got your age right - or do you work at a college rather than study at one?
Whatever. As far as the sex goes, I think you could simply have been a one night stand for him. Then you told him you just wanted to be friends which suited him nicely - sex without any commitment or romance, a quick 'legover' if you will. Or maybe he's acting nonchalant towards you about this other guy that asked you out - trying to give you the impression that he doesn't care one way or the other.
The best thing to do would be to tell him you won't be taking up the offer because you would much prefer to go out with him and tell him how you're feeling. There's nothing quite like a bit of honest communication!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): I do need to add something else, here. I know you are a bit older to want to have more children. But, if this is your only problem with wanting a more serious relationship, you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. It may not be as big a thing with him as you think. Then, it may be. But this is something you need to get understood between you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Well, what I think is that he was really interested at first, but, he wants a real relationship and possibly marriage and a family. When you told him right off that you did not want more children, he backed away. Many men do want these things...and want their own children. So, if that is not your plan, you should simply stay friends. He should find someone who does want what he wants. He deserves to, does he not? And would you not be wasting his time?
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (13 May 2009):
 He might have said he was happy for you to date other guys because he was too proud to say otherwise. Trying to make someone jelous to see how they really feel is never the way to go bacause you always run the risk of getting the opposite reaction,like you did. Maybe he does still like you, but you're never going to find out unless you just ask him straight. Sit him down and have a good heart to heart with him. If you don't like what he tells you at least you won't be thinking 'what if..' everyday. If you don't feel you can ask him to his face then write him a letter, that way you can be 100% honest and say everything you've been bottling up. I know that when you're not sure how someone feels about you, it's like walking round in a bubble as you just keep wondering. At least this way you'll know once and for all. Good luck, I hope you'll let me know how things work out.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 I think the two of you need to make time to discuss things so that there is closure for you. Stop guessing on this one.
As a man though, based on what you have said, I can tell you that he is not interested in you.
Not sure you can say that you made a mistake though until the two of you talk one on one.
Is he younger than you?
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