A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. He has a three year old son with another woman. They only dated for about a month and accidentally got pregnant and things didn't work out between them. I was originally ok with the situation. I was involved with the kid and felt relatively comfortable. However, my boyfriend has started to make it clear that he most likely does not want another child. As for me, it's difficult to say when I want a kid (I'm in the middle of going to college and pursuing a career) but I feel like I probably will want a child later down the road. I made this clear and said I don't know if this can be a long term relationship if he doesn't see having another child. He claims that he doesn't believe that I really want to be a mother and tries to talk me out of having kids and breaking up with him. He also says him not wanting kids isn't a for sure thing, that maybe there is a slight chance he'll want another.The fact that he doesn't want a kid is making it harder for me to accept his child. I find myself getting jealous of the mother and feeling distant around the child. I don't know if i should take my chances and continue our relationship knowing theres a good chance for problems down the road. I love him very much and everything else is exactly what I want, and I find it so hard to walk away.
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 June 2015):
 End the relationship. He does not want another child. He did not really want the one he has but he's making the best of it.
you resenting his child and taking it out on the child is wrong.
best thing to do is end it now. that way you grow less attached over time rather than more attached.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 June 2015):
 OH btw.... Forgot to add this:
DO not take your resentment out on a 3 year old, that is JUST petty!
This is between YOU and him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 June 2015):
This is one of those deal-breaker issues that NEEDS to be sorted out.
Him saying he might perhaps someday he doesn't know ya-da ya-da is him NOT wanting you to leave him. He DOES know if he wants kids or not, but he thinks by giving you HOPE that me MIGHT change his mind you will stay and YOU will be the one to change YOUR mind.
Sorry, IF you want kids in the future... HE isn't it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 June 2015):
 I can imagine three end-results of the situation that you've described...... TWO of them are pretty horrible for you; only ONE is even marginally good for you... and it's a long shot. Are you willing to carry on with this creature under those odds??? (If you were my Sister, I'd tell you to run - away - quickly....)
good luck...
...............................
|
