A
female
age
,
*koobiedoo
writes:Should i stay or should i go?Ive been with my bloke for about 10 yrs. We are really good together when we're together (and alone) problem for me is his daughter (around 30) still lives at home and uses him for entertainment and sustennance. She is often arrogant, rude, and sarcastic towards him (and will blatently me at times when she thinks she has been usurped in some way) But she makes out she's some super person, ultra inteligent/talented etc (but in reality although she was pretty swithched on as a teenager she hasnt really moved with the times and has few social skills - not sustainable ones anyway) she's never had a job - her gran pays her to shop for her (and she makes out like its a huge job full of massive responsibility. We both made the mistake of bolstering her ego when she started doing this shopping - better than being at home all day - has never had ajob. But it's yet another thing thats backfired. My bloke has been depressed for some years, another worry is the fact that she self harms - only when anaethitised by drink and only when others in the house, and she makes sure everyone knows - if you dont mention the bandage she will, and appear annoyed you didnt. So with all these complications hanging over him he feels trapped. He meets me in secret, we ring and arrange to meet, he lies to her to 'keep her off the scent' makes out that we've finished etc but then will take me to his house - her displeasure is clear. Am i a pawn in this weird family set up? Do they get their kicks out of the subtefuge etc? I think its time to get out - what do you think? Itll be hard coz we are good together, but its always 'hidden' is it worth trying to fight for? she's never going to improve is she? She'll be at home till he goes into a home then she'll just vegitate on her own i guess- dont want to be aroud then, i am 14yrs his junior. Help!!
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female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (8 August 2009):
Your man needs to get a backbone and tell her as long as she is in his house she will respect him. It sounds like he just lets her run the house, I wouldn't give a flying fig if she cut her own arm off. He is not doing her any favors and why would you want to be with someone so weak. He won't even take up for your relationship it is apparent she is a nutt and will be going nowhere in life. You need to give him a stern talking to and make him decide what he is finally gonna do because it is your future in jeopardy here too not just his.
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