A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I fell for a guy 12 years old than me who was at my hiking group. Over the years we have had a rocky relationship where he would show me interest but would serial date other people. As a result I would ignore him as I was hurt and then he would get annoyed I ignored him but he didn't know why. We made amends recently but he went back to blowing hot and cold. His brother once told me that he has had a very bad time with relationships and has bad anxiety, I do believe this as he stutters and gets nervous around me. If he is socially awkward how can he ask the majority of the women out of the hiking group? The women get annoyed with his strategy so now he is a member of 120 hiking groups - something not right there.I fell hard for this guy even though he let me down many times. He is very impatient and moans a lot, I cannot stand those traits. He will be on a hike soon and I have not seen him in 6 weeks. I am fed up of him leading me on and I hate having feelings for him when I know I deserve better. I don't want any animosity and don't see why I should avoid the group. Should I go to the walk or completely cut him out of my life? I am having sleepless nights and anxiety attacks over this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 July 2017):
 When you act outside of your character because of one person and you don't know why, you have to be aware that some people are energy leeches or emotional vampires. They feed on fear and need of validation. Having an immature guy in a hiking group is not cause for anxiety attacks. He himself is probably having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights and his energy somehow leaked into yours. Remind yourself that the negative energies aren't yours, and expel them out of your system. Your next move is psychic protection and to be careful of who you let into your mind and soul. Only invite emotionally positive people into your life. Don't get sucked into other's dramas.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): What a loser this guy is!
You want him because he is ignoring you! That's why!
Don't think he doesn't know it! He does it on purpose!
It's an old player move.
Guys like this like to play these little games on purpose!
Gives him the upper hand!
How do you win at his lousy game?
Ignore him back. Ignore him some more. Ignore him again. Keep ignoring him until he is obliterated from your heart. It's easy to ignore someone when there are plenty of other people around to socialize with. If he comes near you, shut him down. Do not respond to him.
He just ain't all that.
And he ain't worth it.
Don't play games meaning ignore him and then talk to him again. Ignore him, period. Stick to it. Hang out with other people. Talk to other people. It can be done. It's called mind over matter.
Although TBH, if it was me, I would be joining another hiking group. One he isn't in. Could he possibly be in ALL the groups? That's just weird! Talk about trying way too hard! There must be ALL FEMALE hiking groups? Right? Or maybe you can join a hiking group in a neighbouring city or town? Doubt he would be there. Yeah, a bit more of a hike (pardon the pun) but worth it for your own peace of mind.
The minute he dated other girls in the same group would be the second I was turned off him completely.
Why would you want other people's sloppy seconds?
Are you not special?
Worth more than that?
This guy in my opinion was likely never married at his age. Now we see why. OR he was and is shying away from commitment so he plays his little adolescent games for a bit of sex but nothing more. He seems flaky, indecisive, immature, socially inept, insecure and downright creepy! What a catch!!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 July 2017):
 I think you have unrealistic expectations of this guy. He is doing the "serial dating" because he CAN'T do REAL relationships.
It's not about the woman but HIS own shortcomings.
You say he is 12 years older than you so somewhere in his 40's which quite frankly surprised me because he behavior is pretty immature. If he was 12 years YOUNGER I might say:"not a big deal" but someone in his 40's? Acting like a total asshat? Don't waste your time on someone like that.
How do you act? TREAT him like you would ANY other person in the group that you are NOT romantically interested in. Stick to talking to OTHER hikers females/males/whatever and enjoy the hikes.
OF course, he is a member of several hiking groups, he is USING the hiking group as his dating pool. Not that it is wrong to do so, but if someone (like him) goes "through" all the female hikers one by one it gets a bit... gross.
I say LOOK elsewhere for a partner this guy is both a WASTE of time and a WASTE of space.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): Nothing you say about this guy makes any sense. Nothing is consistent. He's weird.
He's not leading you on, you just can't get-over him for some reason. You feel rejected and that bugs you!
You seem to need his validation. Is it because he goes after other women and hasn't come for you?
You've described him as awkward and whiny. No prize!
What on earth do you see in him?
Sounds like he's not that into you, but you're relentlessly pursuing him. You've got to have his attention. If you're not getting it, then stop trying.
Just let him get lost in the crowd and pretend he's not there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): I'm sorry for what I can gather you barely know this guy .. he stutters around you , moans and groans, dates other women and being honest just because someone shares your air space doesn't mean you know them ..
Friendships like any relationships are building blocks of joint knowledge, shares ideas, dreams hobbies,laughs and debates . Fall in .. fall outs .. families history .. siting with someone.. hiking with someone with general convo being spoken isn't knowing someone .
You have a fantasy of him and being honest I don't know why . He sounds a right catch .. not ans yet your ego of why doesn't he want me ./ can't let you see how lucky you are.
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