A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:For the past month I've been dating a man who was once in a relationship w/an alcoholic. the past week she has contacted him, claiming to be sober for one ENTIRE week. I don't know what her intentions are, but he says that now he feels torn between her and me. I understand how he feels, but I also feel that he is addicted to this relationship. I was married to a drug addict for 13 years and FINALLY left him. I tried to explain to this man, as a friend and someone who's gone through it, that one week of sobriety is not a warranted period of time for him to make a decision to go back to her. I also told him that I would not be second in his heart and that he needed to figure out what he wants. When i came home from work Monday night, I found that he had done some chores around my house for me, that i did not ask him to do and left me a card on my door. I don't know if i should be a friend to this man or dump him like a hot potato. I have feelings too and I'm finished with DRAMA!!! I have not spoken to him in a week.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): God! Where do you get your patience from? I wouldnt put up with this. He is torn between the two of you! well, i would tell him to buggar off and let him get on with it. I was married to a wife beater for 20 years, so anyone even contemplating going down a road of misery needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Run like hell, he is undecided, well what will he be like in the future? Dont even give him a second chance. It is up to you if you want to remain friends with him, but dont be there when he wants a bed to lie in cos his gf is out of her face in drink. She needs professional help and to be off the drink for a long time before he even consider having her back.But in the meantime you should be long out of there girl and meet someone who you so rightly deserve. Because you sound a lovely person.
take care
xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): The best thing you can do is be a friend and wait.
Let him go back and try it again. If it fails, make sure he realises he will always have a place with you, whatever happens.
You seem like a strong woman, and lovely one to boot, so you know how to deal.
Whatever happens I hope it turns out for the best for both of you.
Flynn 24
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