A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey guys,i have a problem. Theres this girl ive been talking to, for about 3 months now. previously, before me and her, she just ended a 2 yr relationship, and i got out of a bad one with no intentions on dating anyone at all (and still have none). It was going all good for a while (i have a side note on this, ill explain it later), until recently. I had a little mishap a couple weeks back, and didnt "perform" at all the first time we tried to have sex. Never ended up happening btw. Well, she went home, and came back all weird. Wasnt talking to me much, didnt want to hang out, etc... i didnt understand it. come to find out, on her weekend home she saw her ex, and even kissed him. So i stopped talkin to her once i found out. She tried talking to me, and i ignored her, until she confronted me and asked me if she did something to piss me off. I told her what i heard, and handled the situation maturely, and we got over it. That weekend was fine. But yet again, she started acting weird again, and we didnt talk for a day. So instead of dropping it like i tried before, i decided if she contacted me again, id ask her if something was wrong. Next day, she was talking to me like she used to, like nothin was wrong, then i told her i wanted to talk to her. later that day we did. i said "i noticed we havent talked in a while, and i was wondering if something was on your mind... is it your ex? or did i do somethin wrong?"... something to that extent. she basically said "no nothings wrong, i guess ive just been busy..." and the way she said it i figured i should not push the subject anymore. We talked for a while, then she had to leave. before she left i said "ok so are we cool?" she said yep, and i kissed her. We talked for a bit longer, SHE KISSED ME, and she left. Other than the day after, where she asked me a general question, i have not spoken a single word to her. its been a week.So, i ask all you readers, what did i do wrong? if i didnt do anything, what do you think is going on in her head? Is it the ex messing with her thoughts? or do you think she just lost interest? Also keep in mind that i will be going home (about 10 hours away) within the next few weeks. is that the reason? i havent been able to pinpoint what the exact cause is. I tried, but she didnt tell me anything. she also used to tell me how much she liked me. And the weekend of our talk, her friend told me how upset she was that i ignored her... the whole loop just doesnt make any sense at all.Oh, and the side note above. Rumor spread (only for a couple hours) between friends that i was "being too clingy" and she didnt want to talk to me anymore. So, i dropped it and stopped talking to her. according to her, she never said that, and we continued what we were doing for another month and a half. any relevance?And last (im sorry, i know this is long...) should i contact her sometime in the future, or drop it completely and move on? What should i do if she contacts me?I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Any answer is accepted, and i thank you for it as well.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Yours is a rebound relationship ,since she has just broken off from her ex. Her emotions may be unstable and erratic,vacillating from her ex and to you .
Her ex may have messed up her head and she could be having some problems dealing with it.
Leave her to sort out her problems.If she contacts you , find out where you stand with her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Well I for one would prefer to have seen a situation first hand but I guess its not possible. Firstly I don't think you did anything wrong. You've been quite mature about the situation...so you just have to accept that you can be 100% perfect and still screw up coz of the other person, lol. The fact that you ignored her once is something I wont blame you for doing since she pretty much ignored you once her ex showed up. I can be so bold to say that anytime she's ignored you, her ex was around her/in her mind in some way or the other. I would have done the same things you did. In your current situation I just wouldn't contact her. I don't like to chase people who don't show me that bit of respect. I would question it, and prolly make one more attempt just to be sure that I'm right. And if another week or few days goes on without any contact then I'd know for sure and cut my losses. The rumors could be false, and her friend could be wrong. BUT its important to not discount it. It's not coincidental that you are hearing these bad words, whether it is true or not. I can't say exactly but you can tell that there are some bad vibes around you, when the situation concerns her. I can't imagine someone being this "busy" as, and it never rly is the case. I'd prolly contact her one more time, but my mind set would have the goal of moving on. I can't stand these convenient friendships.
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