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female
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anonymous
writes: HiI have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, we get on really well and have alot in common (im 22 he is 30) the problem is he still wears a ring that one of his ex girlfriends gave him with his and her names engraved in it, wears a necklace that another ex gave him, has a photo of him and another of his ex's up in his spare room and photos of her on his mobile, dont get me wrong i do trust him, but am i wrong in feeling a little hurt and slightly confused at why he has and wears these?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): Thank you for your excellent reply's everyone.
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (3 March 2006):
 Ok..no big deal here.
It would be much worse if he were trying to sneak around and see the old flames. right?
I just don't get the whole he's being honest and up front about his entire past and so I am upset and want to make him stop...thing.
See to me, and probably to him, these things are simply part of his past that make him exactly who he is today. Look at those women objectively..are they pretty, classy people you could see yourself being friends with if he were not in the picture? Sure they probably are...And he sees you as someone who is confident and all-that enough not to be threatened by his old girlfriends. (really want to destroy that?)
To me...so long as he is not tearfully Moooooning over them and drinking and holding the pictures patheticly announcing how each broke his heart.....I think...Wow what a classy guy. It means that when he breaks up with someone...he does not want them to drop off of the face of the earth...once he cares for someone...he always will. He treats his ex-girlfriends with enough consideration and respect to value things that were special and not act like a baby and throw everything in the ocean at the end of the movie....cool...hang on to him.
Because sometimes things don't work out...does not mean that they were not really terrific people...and on the off chance that it does not work out with YOU...guess what...maybe you have a life long friend who will always value the time YOU AND HE spent together. (how he treats his Ex is how he will treat YOU..if you break up)
But by all means move on and dump him if it offends you...after all I am sure there is some guy who throws out everything you ever give him just because the new lady gets her feathers ruffled...He'll tell you not one of them meant a thing....and you can be confident that that will be exactly what you mean to him...if it does not stay perfect.
Me...I'd stick with the classy guy.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (2 March 2006):
 I think he just has these things that his ex girlfriends have given him and he just keeps them, does he know they bother you and if so what if anything did he do about it.
Buy him a new chain, give him a photo of you and ask him if he would`nt mind putting these other girls presents away.
Do`nt feel threatened by them as they are part of his past, just talk to him about it and be prepared for a little compromise.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (2 March 2006):
 You are not wrong to feel that way. He is obviously nostalgic about his past relationships, and that is okay, but he doesn't have to let you know he still thinks of this exes on occasion. You should ask him to put these things away because they make you uncomfortable. He can still keep his momentos, but he needs to keep them out of your sight! Just look out, because he may become defensive and accuse you of being insecure. If this is the case, then maintain your cool, but let him know that it is an issue of respect, not your insecurity. If he doesn't have the decency to take your feelings into consideration, then you need to rethink your relationship with this man.
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