A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cubid Basically I have had this crush on this guy for a long time now. I know I feel something for him however I do not know if I love. I am young and I do not know what love is yet, but I know I care about him a lot He is is so sweet and nice and I want to be with him however he is in a relationship but not with a random girl who is one of my friends. I think he knows I like him what should I do?
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male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (24 April 2016):
 Love is something that occurs after the crush is gone. Therefore, it isn't love, it is infatuation. Infatuation occurs frequently, but love doesn't. Love cannot happen unless the infatuation phase is completed during which time you discover what and how the other person operates, whether him and you can be a team, whether him and you did things that required that codependence, and whether it all happened with ease. Love is easy and is not burdened by infatuations. Females tend to be more naive about the guy's intent during the infatuation phase, and are not cautious.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (24 April 2016):
 Hi,
i am going to advise you in the same way as "Honeypie", because i think she has pretty much summed it all up and as i would've said it.
Please take the advice given very seriously, because it's the right thing to do and the right way to be.
What i will add though is that, because you are so young, i would really encourage you to focus more on your schooling and your studies, as there will be plenty of time for boys later down the line, when you're mature and ready to deal with relationships and physical connections.
At your age, getting too involved with boys will only lead to heartache and potential issues, that at your age, you do not need.
Most, if not all relationships at your age, never work out.
When you are older and if this boy is then single again and you still feel the same way about him, then you could both get together and see where it goes.
I suspect as you age and mature mentally, you may decide you don't even wish to be with this boy anymore.
You will eventually find your truest connection, if that's what you leave your heart open to finding, but for now, focus on your life priorities, that are age appropriate priorities.
You are much better off being simply friends with boys, rather than having a secret love interest.
I wish you all the best! :-)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2016):
 What should you do?
Accept that you have a crush. We all get them from time to time.
It doesn't mean YOUR feelings are more important than the girl he is dating's feelings. And it doesn't mean you HAVE to declare you feelings to him.
If you tell him, don't you think it will hurt YOUR friend ?
And let's say he likes you, but only as a friend, so thing WILL get awkward afterwards ALL because you only considered yourself and your feelings.
Think, Girl Code for a second.
Girl Code is not something everyone follows, but it DOES contain a LOT of common sense. SUCH as, if a guy has a GF he is OFF LIMITS. If you have feelings for a guy who is dating a friend... or a best friend, he is DEFINITELY off limits. Even if he flirts with you.
You treat OTHER girls with the same respect as YOU would like to be treated.
Putting other girls down, doesn't make you BETTER than them.
Don't be "that girl" - the one who chases the guys with GF's.
Those are some of the better "unwritten rules", IMHO
He might be hot, sweet, smart and nice - BUT he is dating a friend so while you might not have 100% control over WHOM you crush on, you CAN control how you act about it.
Just like when there is someone you REALLY don't like. You don't HAVE to go and tell them to their face. Same goes for crushes. You don't HAVE to tell anyone. The crush will go away and someone else will be the "object" of affection.
Who knows down the line maybe he will be single and maybe you two will pair up, maybe you won't. For now.. HE IS OFF LIMITS.
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