A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:This will probably be long. Because I want to include lots of points. There is a boy I think I'm in love with. We have felt this way about eachother for 8 months now. He is very jelous and I get a lot of accusations such as.. I fancy my best friend. Who two years ago, I had previously been out with and done some sexual things with. He doesn't believe me when I say I don't have feelings for him anymore. I'm forever being accused of feeling this way towards my best friend. Not just my best friend.. basically any male he will try and start an argument off with. I was 15 minutes late back from the chip shop and I got accused of having a 'quickie'. I said I may be doing a dancing duo my female friend and he said all the lads will be going crazy for me. Trying to start something there too.I get all these accusations, yet he is the person who has many girls on his msn personal message in hearts. He kissed a girl too, whilst still saying he loved me ect. But he says he regretted it. He claims all these girls are friends to me but has admitted he fancies other people. He loves to make me jelous, where as I hate doing that kind of stuff to him, because he will go in a mood. He's a really bad hypocrite.Anyway, months ago he said we should be together after we leave school. We then left school and he told me we should just be friends. He used my best friend as the excuse. Saying, he thinks I fancy him ect.. Even though my best friend is infact in a gay relationship and has been for over a year and a bit. I can't say this to him though. Its unfair on my friend who wants to keep this a secret. no matter what I say he doesn't believe I dont fancy my friend anymore. A few days after him saying we should be friends, we went back into school to catch up with things we hadn't completed. and we ended up holding hands and we both said on msn that it felt right and we didn't feel nervous. I made a flirty comment and he was saying 'I said we should just be friends, remember?' I then said how if me and him could be together. I'd stop speeking to my best friend if thats what it takes. I told him id give up anything to be with him. He would say 'I dont want you loosing friends over me' .. I said it would be worth it. But he just told me to forget it. With him using my best friend as the excuse as to why he didn't want to be with me. You'd think me ruling him out, would solve the problem wouldn't you? .. This is what I need help on really.. Because I always blame myself, thinking its my fault for having him as a best friend. I always seem to blame myself in every situation. Even though I've been told its not my fault. Hes a very aquad boy, But I really want this with us. Does anyone have any ideas on what I could say to him? Even though he doesn't want to hear anything more on the matter. I still think I dont want to let this go. I'll still keep thinking it could have been something. If he doesn't like the idea of me and my best friend having done things and still thinks I fancy him and I've said I'd stop speeking to him, if I could be with him.. what more can I do? But if he says he doesn't want me loosing friends, then what can I do? Theres no pleasing him? . HELPPPPPPPP please
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Well hmm you guys sound pretty young but I'll give you my 2 cents on what I think is going on here o_x! Firstly dear its is clear he is the one with the problem not you. You have already stated this and you know this as well. He gets jealous and teases you about it. I guess he has problems and chooses to do those to mask them. Through everything you are saying you are ready for love and to be with someone but he is clearly not ready. Logically you would think that you giving up your friends would solve the problem...but as I said this is not the problem. If I had to guess...I'd say he just doesn't love you as much as you thought. His inability to accept your friends leads me to think he is immature about what ever relationship you guys had so naturally I think you guys are still young. Sorry to say but there is no way to control the heart despite what words or actions he says or does. There is nothing more you can do, because anything more would mean you are not being true to yourself and in a way, being fake and that will not lead to a healthy/successful relationship. Really and truly babe, it is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong except for jumping into every chance you think you have with him. He needs to sort out himself , mature a little, I don't think you can handle a future where all he does is blame you and argue with you while he has his fun socializing with other girls. You are a great person so believe in yourself, there are better out there.
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