A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have posted on here before and got some good replies. i have been with my partner now for nearly a year and i am planning to move in with him as we live 2 hours apart, the problem is that he is best friends with an ex.he split up with his wife a couple of years ago as she ran off with a good friend of his, he ended up having a relationship with his friends wife as they were comforting each other,he moved area to live in a house he was renting out and she moved into the area to be near him as she did not want to move back to the area where she came from. they were together for about 6 months and their kids played together and they got each other through it. but he ended it as he said it wasn't right.they still spent a lot of time together even though she now has a partner. she still calls at the house and just walks in calling him hun and pet names, they mind each others kids and do each other favours all the time. i have told him im not happy with the situation and he said he would ask her to stop walking in the house and to stop calling him pet names but he said it's just her nature but also said he would never turn his back on her and they will always be friends.I get gelous of her although i know he doesn't want to be with her. I don't see her as often now at the weekends when i'm there but i know they must still talk in the week and i know he has been round for dinner as she has asked him in front of me.he doesn't mention her much now as he knows it upsets me.they buy each other gifts on birthdays and christmas and the cards she sends him are personal with the word honey and kisses.we are great together and i know he loves meand i am great with his kids i am just scared of giving everything up to be with him knowing that she will always be in the picture. he said he doesn't see her as an ex and it was a mistake sleeping with her as they were both just lonely. he has said ha cares about her but she is with someone else now and they are just friends.he gets on well with her boyfriend and wants me to meet him and all go out as friends but i don't know if i can.some friends tell me that he is with me now and he clearly loves me or he wouldn't have asked me to move in with him and others say they wouldn't put up with it. your advice would be much appreciated x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): He sounds like a harmony lover. There’s nothing to worry about, its all very honest and genuine. I do get the feeling that this girl knows shes making you jealous and probably enjoys doing so cos shes very confident they have a lasting bond because of the troubles they helped each other through.
I hate to be harsh but sometimes we need to hear it, I think you are being selfish. Just relax let what is be. You will become the spanner in the works and you will bring the troubles otherwise.
Hes with you, he loves you. He has a dear friend don’t make him feel guilty for it, I promise the more you stop caring about this woman the less of an issue it will become.
You’re the new girlfriend whos jealous of the ex – we all know how that role works out. Put yourself in his shoes – is what your doing fair – can he help what she does? Shes only doing it because it ticks you off, but while you complain about her you’re the bad one, (cos there close friends) relax about it and just let her do her bit – if she purists she’ll appear childish and he’ll probably speak to her of his own accord.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Uh, personally I wouldn't move in with him with all this potential "drama" going on. To me it seems like she is quite comfortable having the babysitter/friend/ex lover around the corner. With that being said I don't believe in telling your SO whom they can talk to/hang out with and whom they can not. But telling him how you feel is important, and what is even more important is how he reacts.
It seems a tad to personal to me. He is NOT her children's Daddy. They had a relationship and that is it. However the whole pet names, seems to me as a "pissing" her territory off. I am willing to BET you money that she knows it annoys you.
Any reason the two of you ( and his kids) can't move somewhere else? If not, maybe give it a try for a month or two and see? Nothing is ever set in stones. And... things might change once you do move in, she might realise that he is serious about you.
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