A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My b/f has a sweet little nickname he's always called me by but lately, I've caught him calling other women by my little pet name and it hurts my feelings because I thought it was something special reserved only for me. The first time he did it, I just teased him about it, "Hey, I thought that was my nick-name...if you're going to use is on other women, it won't be special anymore..." He laughed and we made light of it, but then he's done it a few more times and each time it bugs me just a little more. Why is he doing this? We've been together for 3 years, and I'm the only person he's ever referred to with that nick-name, so why now is he using it on other females? One was a co-worker, one was a really cute young woman singer and one was a friend sitting at our table one night for dinner. Is this honestly a little slip of the tongue or is there more going on?....I don't quite know how to react since he's basically ignored my suggestions to keep the nickname between us so it will continue to be special. So am I making too much out of this?
View related questions:
co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Personally I think its less about the nickname (although blurring the lines seems very odd to me)but its more about the fact you have told him it upsets you and yet he carries on - that is not really showing you any respect is it. I have only two suggestions. Firstly, ensure you give him a nickname (if he does not already have one) really call him it regularly for 2 - 3 weeks. Then, starting using it on other guys and make sure he hears you doing it. Alternatively maybe next time he says your nickname just say flatly and coldly "my name's XXXX I prefer being called by my real name if you don't mind from now on."
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 What's the nickname?
I dont know if you are reading too much into it, but I wouldn't like for my husband to call others by my nick name.
For him it might just be a reflex thing. Female=nickname.
I would ask him, but try not to make it a big drama :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 I don't think there is anything major going on... certainly nothing you need to worry about.
I would agree that you need to make sure (without making light of it) that he knows you take this seriously. He doesn't need to share this opinion, but it's important that YOU KNOW you are not making a big deal "out of nothing".
We take comfort in committed relationships, not just by what we do to show each other we are committed, but by how we show the world.
For example, married couples wear a wedding ring. This shows the world they are spoken for and it is not acceptable to remove that ring while "clubbing" or "bar-hopping". Doing so is not okay "because the husband and wife know they are a couple, wink, wink, and it doesn't matter what others think".
He set a precedent by calling only you by your special nickname. It is normal for you to wonder what it means that he broke that tradition.
Good luck.
...............................
|
