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female
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*atal
writes: I am seeing a man who still lives with his ex partner. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but says is too weak to tell his ex partner and could we still see each other. I am not sure whether I can handle this all the time and get frustrated ,even though he makes me happy when we are together.
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female
reader, toounderstanding +, writes (12 June 2006):
Let me start by saying that I was in the same position as you, except he ended a 8 year relationship for me (although he wont say that it was for me... coincidence?). I dont know how unusual it is for them to actually leave their current love, but let me tell you that our relationship did not grow after that! Regardless of whether he loves her or not, if he leaves her he will still mourn that loss & you would be the most uncomfortable person to talk to you about it. And to add to it, you'll eventaully have trust issues whether he is being unfaithful or not. Please don't end up where I am right now... stuck in love thats stagnant and paying the consequences of god knows what. Be good to yourself, you dont need to accept anything less that true love!
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 Sorry didnt realise that you said EX, i dont think shes the ex yet, so what I posted still stands, Clear that shes more to him than an ex or he would have no qualms in telling her or moving out!
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (11 June 2006):
Sorry but he either want you or he doesnt, it has nothing to do with being weak, if things were that bad in the relationship hes in why is he still there!? If he wants to be with you and thinks your so great why hasnt he taken the plunge? Most probably becuase he wants his cake and to eat it. He is either with you or her, why should you just be a bit on the side. give him an ultimatum, if he really wants you then hes gotta leave her, if he wont you do the walking, find someone that you dont have to share and will be with you, and you only!
Take care
x
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A
female
reader, i no how u feel  +, writes (11 June 2006):
do you honestly believe that he is living with his 'ex'? He's probably still with her and hes seeing you on the side. I bet she doesn't even know you exist. He probably tells her regularly that she's the only one and that he loves her. Get out of this dodgy relationship and find someone who loves you and only you.
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A
female
reader, hothannah +, writes (11 June 2006):
u really need to think about what is going to happen in the futer if u stay with him then the arguements that will happen and if u leave somebody who will be their for you always u really need to leave him u may fnd u love him but how do u no he feels the same way about you dep down?
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (11 June 2006):
 He's given it to you in black and white. He's not going to leave his "ex" (who is really his "now"). But he wants you as his "bit on the side", nothing more.
Now you decide what you want to do. If you're happy for him to cheat on her with you, and on you with her, then you stay. I promise you that nothing is going to change though, no matter how good a girlfriend you are. He's already said he's "too weak" to leave her for you.
You can see where this is leading, can't you? He's using you for sex and really doesn't have any respect for you. My advice is to run as fast as you can to a life without him. He's running down your self-esteem, just to keep his own boosted about what a stud he is.
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