He's the only boy I can't get out of my head

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

There was a guy I kinda dated in the beginning of college. We hung out a few times, but I was way too busy then and we kinda went our separate ways. I was told that he really liked me though and his actions showed it. Throughout the last couple of years, I haven't been able to get over him though. It's the oddest thing because despite developing new crushes and having new flings with different boys, he's the only boy I can't get out of my head. I've bumped into him a few times here and there throughout the last couple of years and he was in my class at one point. I don't know what to make of him. He is currently single and has been for a while from my knowledge. He's super good looking and I honestly can see myself marrying him. I know that's crazy to say but there is just some kind of crazy attraction that draws me to him. I bumped into him outside the bar earlier this year. He seemed really excited to see me and then messaged me if I will be in town in the fall (I already graduated from college but visit often). I told him no but that I visit often and he never wrote back. I decided to chat with him on an online social site a few weeks ago. I hadn't talked to him in months. We chatted for a long time and then he brought up how he would love to see me when I am back in town. A friend of mine bumped into him when I did get into town and she told me that he kept asking about me. She said that it was one of the first things out of his mouth. This made me think he was thinking about me?! However, the next day when our groups of friends hung out, he seemed nice/excited to see me yet also a bit standoffish. I looked nice and didn't know why he didn't seem more apt to talk to me. He seemed nervous when talking to me though but he after chatting for a few minutes to me, he would always go back to his friends. He also kept talking to this other girl who I know he wasn't interested in/not his type. I didn't know what to make of the night and his feelings, and I still don't. I'm a very rational person and a part of me does believe that he still likes me. There are just too many clues that point in that direction (he always stares right at me when he talks is a big one). However, other clues point in the other direction as well. He is a very shy guy. I really hope that I see him again soon. I might later next month. It's hard for me to stop thinking/analyzing that night and what his true feelings for me are. Any advice? Do you think he likes me or am I imagining things? Could he be trying not to get attached to me because we are currently in two different states and he only looks for serious relationships? If I am in town again soon, should I message him to hang out? When we hung out beforehand, he was nice yet a bit hesistant/akward. When we did kinda date, we cuddled a few times but that's about it (he initiated it). I'm not sure how to describe it. Like he totally didn't feel comfortable with me. When we talk to each other, we mainly make small talk. We never talk for very long though at a time (more than 5 minutes). It's very odd. That night, for example, he came up to me, we talked for 5 minutes and then he went back to his friends. Then 5 minutes later he would come up to me again and then leave after a few minutes. It's almost as if he didn't know what to say or had ADD about it!! What do you make of the situation? Is it possible he likes me?

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A female reader, Good Girl  +, writes (14 March 2009):

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