A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 months now since we have been together i have caught him cheating ,i have caught him on several dating websites and also caught him on phone dating services chatting and talking with different girls. I still decided to stay with him because i have fallen in love with him..but he has become very contrlling he not only lets me hang out with my guy friends but he also doesnt allow me to have girls night out and hang out with my girls alone..not only that but now he also gets mad over little things..yesterday he told me that i have to delete all my guy friends and all guys from my facebook and myspace..he said i could only be friends with girls.i dont want to do this because i know im not doing anything wrong but iam afraid of losing him and him leaving me because of me not deleteing them for him..what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): All this in 3 months? Run now. You do not want to see what can happen in a lifetime!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I was with a guy like him for 3 years. Everything you mentioned he did too and it just gets more extreme over time. Eventually he didn't like the idea of me going out in public. The longer you let it continue, the harder it is to get out so you honestly have to do it as soon as possible! It will hurt less that way. I did all the things he wanted like ditching all my male friends (by the way that isn't healthy and makes no sense! You know it too, you say you're not doing anything wrong.) and it was never enough to make him happy. After a while it starts to break down who you are inside. I finally broke up with him a year ago and it was the most incredible relief. You can't cut yourself off from living your life! I'm now dating an amazing guy who treats me how I want to be treated, respects me and doesn't get jealous of me talking to other guys. I know it's hard because you love him, but the way he treats you will eventually kill that love and leave you wondering who you are and how you let that happen to yourself. And please don't think your case is different - reading your post I thought it could have been written by me in the early stages of our relationship.
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (10 December 2009):
 OH MY GOSH!! exact same situation here! Only in my case, he has my passwords and goes and deletes them himelf! He rips my clothes sometimes, he keeps clothes he doesnt want me to wear, I cant hang out with my girlfriends because theyre "sluts" as he puts it, and I cant have male friends either.
I recently found out he had a gal at his place having a drink with her, and caught her number. I love him, but I had to let him go, weve been talking for 3 months, dating for nearly 2, and he's already this controlling.
The next step for your guy is abuse if you decide to go against him, so please, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!
xo
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 Why are you afraid of losing him, what is so wonderful that you fear this? He doesnt sound so wonderful to me!
Now here's a novel idea. Leave the friends you have on facebook on facebook and delete him, not just from facebook and other online sites such as myspace, but also from your list of contact on your cell, and land line, and also from your life.
You dont need a cheatin' controlling snake in the grass like that in your life, if he is like this after only three months imagine what he will be like after a year.
Dont go there, run away now, as fast as you can!
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