A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I've been dating this guy , he's amazing and there's no doubt we have chemistry, endless amount of affection towards each other. I Just turned 20 and he's turning 25 in January. I don't see much of an age difference but at times he says certain things that get to me. I know that he watches porn and at first I didn't know what to say so I sort of became okay with it. But recently when he calls me he touches himself and I don't know what to say. It feels uncomfortable to me! For play with him was so intense I loved it, as for sex I had to push away at one point because it just hurt. He's a science teacher but at times I wonder about his past. Is it wrong of me to wonder ? Why he's so good at everything he does I mean I shouldn't judge him cause of it. He says he's crazy about me and well its hard to resist him as well. I'm just unsure because he's to sexual , is there anyway to make it work ? Do I need to set boundaries?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 December 2014):
Yes, you need to set boundaries, but you also need to accept that HE may have other boundaries then you. So find a middle-ground you can both accept. I mean, I would find it rather disrespectful, if I was on the phone with a guy I was dating and he JUST had to masturbate, I mean really? IS the conversation sexual? I mean does he think the two of you are "sexting", and you are OK with that or what?
YOU need to nip this in the bud if you are NOT comfortable with it. He might think it's VERY sexy, hot and heavy, where you feel it's uncomfortable.
I think the reason sex hurt the time you tried it, was because you were too tense, YOU aren't totally relaxed and trusting him. So that needs to WAIT till you can relax with him. And you NEED to tell him that, he may have more experience then you, but he isn't a mind reader.
You didn't mention how long you two have been dating.
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