A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, So I have been with my guy for about a year and four months. He's really changed. He doesn't want to speak to me anymore when I go home for 5days and he snaps at me when I try talking to him. Clearly he doesn't miss me. Does anybody know why?He's so cold and distant from me. Always flirting with the same girl since we first got together. He says that he loves me, but it's rare when he says that. When I try to tell him how I feel he snaps and says that im moaning. He never wants to share his feelings with me and I do not understand why. I really love him and I feel like im loosing him which I really don't want to happen. I cry so many times because he's always putting me down. But when I cry he's like, stop being a baby. boohoo! and that really hurts and makes me cry more. I think he needs to grow up a little. I know that I deserve better but I love him too much to let this go. I just want the loving and careing guy that he was for 7 months at the start of our relationship. Any ideas why he wants to flirt with the same girl? He says he doesn't find her attractive and that he doesn't want her. He says he just likes talking to her and that he's always been a flirt even before we got together. Do you think that he's just flirting with her because thats the way he is, and that he genuinley does not like her more than a friend? Im so confused at why he would want to hurt me. He's so cold. He doesn't even want to cuddle upto me. He never kisses me unless I make the first move. We hardly ever have sex.I just don't understand. He doesn't fight for us and does not care whether we are together or not. Or so he says. He shows that he doesn't care. Maybe he doesn't? I need some advice please. I hope you take the time to read this. Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): I am at a loss to know why, from what you say, you would want to be with this guy anyway. He treats you so badly and you put up with it because you say you love him. A loving relationship is about respect, trust, affection among other things. But nothing you describe fits this bill. Maybe in the early days he was what you wanted but think about it, if this is what he is offering in the way of a relationship, do you really want it? You want him to change back into the guy you first met but I very much think that is not going to happen. You are clinging on to this guy for dear life, but there is going to be somebody else out there just right for you. Give yourself a chance to meet him!
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 What does it matter WHY he flirts with this other girl? the fact is that he DOES.
You've tried talking to him - but he responds with rudeness and refuses to discuss it. You then start crying and trying to cuddle up to him. Quite honestly, this gives him the impression you're clingy and needy.....he tells you to stop being a crybaby.
I frankly don't understand why you still love this man who is so nasty and inconsiderate to you. It might be better to tell him to go to hell if that's how he feels; that you're not willing to put up with it any longer. At the very least, that would show him you have a backbone......
As for being afraid of "loosing (losing) him", the truth is you have already lost him.
And as far as what caused your relationship to go south, who knows? Not all friendships work out; sometimes two people are just too different, or one has too many problems, for it to become good and long term.......
Sorry.
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