A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have known ‘John’ for 10 years. Our dads are best buddies. Unfortunately, we didn't get the chance to meet up often as distance set us apart (we are frm different states). Besides, he's studying Medicine in a American Uni while im still in my home country (in Asia). We grew apart for awhile but managed to get reconnected via MSN. We changed and there were many things to catch up with.Initially, he grabbed the opportunity to get to know me better. For instance, he ask about my interests, how's my week and what I'm up to...he insists to be updated. He updates me on how he's doing too and never hesitate to be himself (expressing emotions without hiding it). Sometimes he would seek me for advices on certain issues. He even asked me several times whether I'm interested in any guys yet…to which I answered 'No'.He always show concern towards me and never fail to help me whenever he can. There was once he taught me Biology. He made sure I fully understand and was very patient eventhough he has to be late for classes because of that…and he has an exam which he has to prepare for. Despite so, he gave me a phone call before leaving for uni. Frankly, sometimes I just find it hard to understand him. Initially we would joke alot and get to know each other better. But sometimes, he would just "appear invinsible or busy" throughout the week and would only reply curtly. When I ask him what's up, he would be like "Oh. Im busy with assignment/exam/homework etc." On other days, he would even sms me (mobile to PC). I was fed up with all these mixed signals that he sent me. So I emailed him and told him that he is a very good friend of mind…but nothing more or less (the is obviously not the complete truth) and I appreciate our time together and all that he has done for me. Shortly after he came online and initiated a conversation. He said he felt very depressed and feel like killing himself…he wants to die as a brave knight by standing in the front like to protect others. He said that there are many things in his mind, questions unanswered, feelings unappeased and he is feeling pain in his heart. He sent me a link to ‘Love is Wicked’ song by Brick and Lace. After that, it seems like he tried to get closer…he learnt my language (we are from different races), address me as “Love”, sent me a ‘ bye bye beautiful’ emoticon and introduced me to his godmother who apparently works in my college .He decided to transfer back to a local medical school in his hometown. His godmother said he did so so that he can come to my hometown every weekend. She talked to me after talking to him over the phone…she was suspecting that there’s something between the both of us…I’m not sure what he told her.However, he recently stop chatting with me again (I can’t initiate conversations because he always ‘appear offline’). The last time I chatted with him was a few weeks ago…he was keeping himself occupied while waiting for a chance to come over…he said he would call me if he does so. Weeks passed and no calls…but I heard he was here for a short trip with his dad…but he didn’t call at all. I left messages but there was no reply (just like what happened before).I just don’t understand why is he acting so strangely. All I know is that he was very hurt from his last relationship. What should I do? What does he behave this way? Is he interested?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 I am going through the same thing with a long distance guy. When we talk on the phone he acts like he cares..miss me..ect. But it seems like he never initiates anything. And takes him forever to return a text or message.
I've come to the conclusion to let these guys go. yeah we have feelings for them, but if they wanted us..they would find a way to have us. So don't contact him anymore. Learn to let it and him go.
btw. my guy says he deals with depression too. I wonder if it's issues they are having because his ex cheated on him.
We can't make them like us. they have to figure that on their own.
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