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female
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anonymous
writes: I think my boyfriend is interested in this girl. I have seen on his computer that he searched for her information, and i asked him why. He told me that he just wanted to know what kind of volunteer or fund raising that she did. But I don't think he would be really interested in just looking for that information right? He tells me he's not interested in her, and that he's not trying to hook up or do anything with her, and then i found out that he searched for her on those personal web page sites. I asked why did he search for her again because he kind of told me like he doesn't care, it doesn't make any sense to me, she asked him if he had a personal page on that site so obviously she has an account there right? He said he searched for her to see if she had a page, said he "saw it, and was just like ok whatever" like trying to say he doesn't care about it. It probably sounds obvious already but it looks like he's really interested in her right? He tells me he's not, but then he looks for her information online, and then at the same time says he doesn't really care. What should i do with him, should i even try to stick it out with him, is he a jerk, or should i just break up with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 To break up with him would be a bit drastic but you're right, he shouldn't really be taking such an interest in this girl if he's with you. Another thing... You shouldn't really be looking at what he does on the internet. That's the equivalent to checking his phone and that's his private business and you should respect that. Plus, what you don't know doesn't hurt you and now that you know what he does you're asking all sorts of questions. And you'd be better off if you hadn't looked in the first place. But what's done is done and now you have to deal with the consequences.
There isn't a lot you can do about this because you can't stop him from using the internet but you could try talking to him about it again and tell him that it bothers you. How long have you two been going out? I don't think you should dump him I think you should talk to him about it and give him the opportunity to reassure you and convince you that he's not interested in this girl. But if you're at a stage where nothing will convince you then maybe you should break up with him.
But is it worth throwing away a good thing over a web page?Maybe you're looking too much into this. I sometimes look at the pages of guys I see on the internet but that's just because they caught my eye and because I can. If I look at a guy's page online it doesn't mean that I want to hook up with him. It just means I felt like looking at his page. But I understand your concern. Do you sometimes look at the personal pages of guys on certain websites? If the answer is yes then do you know that just because you look at say 'Mark's' page doesn't mean you're gonna leave your boyfriend for him does it? Try to think of it that way and don't get too stressed over it.
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