A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have a situation here, and I don't have any idea what to do, I have been with my boyfriend 8 months, he is very sweet with me and he does everything to please me, he is always very busy with work and college but he always manage to make time for me we normally see each other 2-3 times a week. We have perfect chemistry, the sex is great, and we have share that we have a lot of feelings for each other. As I said before, we have been in this relationship for like 8 months, and my boyfriend has starting making coments about the possibility of spending the rest of our lifes together. He cares deeply for me, he is always worried about my health because I don't have good health.All this sounds perfect but last night I told him that I loved him, because I feel I am inlove with him, he told me that he doesn't like to feel those things, so obviously he doesn't love me, I confront him about that, because we have such a good relationship, and this comes out of the blue, it was totally unexpected, I remember I told him, well you don't love me, and he would tell me like " but I do have a lot of feelings for you", I told him that I was going to leave him, and he asked me don't do it, because he has a lot of feelings for me. He has always tell me that he has never meet anyone like myself, he has always said that he hasn't like anyone as he likes me, and that he has never felt for anyone what he feels for me. This is also a guy that he has grew up in a family with strong lack of comunication, in that family no one shows emotion, he told me that maybe this is why he is the way he is. He told me, as he knows that I am thinking in leave him, he told me "we will figure it out, all couples have problems". He told me he was going to try to change as much as he can. I know that this is his first real relationship, because before myself, he has dated a couple of girls, but nothing has work, he always say that with me everything is perfect.I honestly don't know what to do, how can someone want to spend the rest of his life with you like that? He told me that he likes everything about me, that he likes spending time with me, that he has a lot of passion for me, he is always telling me how cute I look, how much he likes to listening myself to talk. He is even learning my native language. It is hard for me to believe that he doesn't love me. But at the same time I am not blind. I don't know if I should stay in this relationship or leave. I am puzzeled and i don't have any idea what to do.I want to clarify that I have never been needy and today he just called me to check up on me, and I honestly don't even know why I picked up the phone, I didn't have the desire to talk to him. I am so disapointed and so hurt, I don't know if I am making an storm in a glass of water, I know that he called me because he is scared that I leave him, he never calls me so early in the day, he nornally calls at night, I don't understand what's the deal with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): yup ur angry at him because he wont tell you he loves you. but since he grew up in that sort of family, dont you think he does love you but he just doesnt really know what that means? maybe he's waiting for that day he proposes. from what you said he really really cares about you, and to be honest, would you rather a guy that treats u half as nice but tells him he loves you all the time, just simply syaing it? or would you rather a bf that does all these things but just doesnt say the three overused words, and he probably waiting for THE moment to say it.
dont worry, your not falling out of love with him. 8 months isnt short, but its not really long either, give it some time and if everything is still going strong then dont let him go, he sounds like gold!
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