A
female
age
51-59,
*lder and Should know better
writes:Hello, not sure anyone can help. I have been dating a man for 1 1/2 years who is retired and I still work full time. How can I stop feeling jealous and wondering what he's doing all day when im at work. I am insecure due to the fact at the beginning he wasn't over his ex girlfriend (a alcoholic) who he was with for 10 years kick him out and for some other guy. And he was left wondering why. In his mind "he treated her like a princess" Here i am being loyal and being the nice girlfriend whos not into head games and is honest and values a true relationship. Unfortunately I don't have many friends everyone is busy with their lives. And my hobbies normally we do together. So please help me with my thoughts thank you
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alcoholic, at work, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 January 2020):
 Have you ASKED him what he does all day?
I'm not retired, I work part-time from home and take care of the home. So I have all day to do whatever I want, mostly. But I can't imagine what kind of shenanigans you think he gets up to, for you to be jealous.
As for his ex-GF, hopefully that is now in the past. As to why she dumped him, well... maybe he didn't really put much effort into that relationship either, as he clearly doesn't do it with you. The whole no gift/no card seems like he is just not all that invested. Because you can't tell me that a guy who has a decent income and retired at 50, can't afford a little something thoughtful for his GF. Same with showing up at 8 pm on Christmas. It seems like an afterthought. Especially if you don't live together.
And SAYING he treated her like a princess, doesn't mean anything. That is HIS take on how he treated her. Wanna bet he would say the same about you? That he treated YOU like a princess? But does he? And what does that really mean and entail? Who needs to be "treated" like a princess? Why not just treat your partner like SHE (or he) matters, as your equal, with respect, lovingly, with care and thought? To me when I hear the expression treating her "like a princess or queen", it means the guy spends money on her and put her on a pedestal. How is that a great relationship? Especially when you say you aren't materialistic. It sounds like how you would treat a 5 year old, to make her feel special.
Maybe for you it's another layer peeling from your eyes?
Do you ask this question because you question WHY you are still dating him?
You are perhaps questioning Yourself here. think about that.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (16 January 2020):
 OP you just made a post where you are unhappy that your b/f didn't give you a card or a gift for Christmas. Its obvious that you are unhappy with him. WHY are you still with him? What kind of validation do you seem to need from us to tell you its ok to want more and he doesn't offer it? MOVE ON
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