A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with this guy for 9 months now. I got into the relationship knowing that he was very reserved and to himself. But I felt that if he spent more time with me and started feeling more comfortable, that he would open up. Well, it hasn't happened yet.I want to know how I can get him to open up. He says he's always been reserved and emotionally detached from things. He knows he can trust me, and I've made it clear that I'm willing to listen. He just doesn't know how to communicate his feelings at all.I thought he didn't communicate with me because he didn't love me. But he really does. That's the only emotion he's made clear and has articulated well.So please cupid, how can I make him open up to me?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for helping me out.
So Very Confused: I already thought of going to counseling, maybe we'll give it a try. It's not that I don't love him now, it's just that I would like him to give me a bit more depth. I love what I see in him now, it's just that I want to know who he is inside, the parts that he's keeping hidden.
ScarlettePenelope: You are so lucky that he opened up! And you're giving me hope that maybe my boyfriend will do the same. But you say it took half a year? I'm already at 9 months and no such luck =/ I'll wait longer of course, but it's still upsetting.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for helping me out. So Very Confused: I already thought of going to counseling, maybe we'll give it a try. It's not that I don't love him now, it's just that I would like him to give me a bit more depth. I love what I see in him now, it's just that I want to know who he is inside, the parts that he's keeping hidden.ScarlettePenelope: You are so lucky that he opened up! And you're giving me hope that maybe my boyfriend will do the same. But you say it took half a year? I'm already at 9 months and no such luck =/ I'll wait longer of course, but it's still upsetting.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): It's not really such a good idea to get into a relationship hoping a person will be different or change. If you want someone who is open and communicative with you, you have to choose someone based on those qualities, not someone who lacks them.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2011):
 You cannot love a person's POTENTIAL you have to love them where they are. IF they change and improve that is the bonus.
My guy can articulate all but love... and yet I know he loves me by how he acts.. we did get into counseling to learn to communicate better with each other.
YOU can't MAKE him open up but if you have communication issues perhaps some couples counseling on how to communicate will help?
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