A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this really nice guy last summer at work who I developed a crush on. I got up the nerve to ask him out and he said yes. The first time we hung out, we went to an outdoor festival thing, and I wasn't even sure if he it was a date or if we were just hanging out as friends. At the end of it, he walked me to my car and we talked for a while, then he left. I was confused until a couple weeks later he asked me out to dinner. Afterwards, he came back to my apartment and we watched a movie and talked for hours. We didn't have sex, but he did spend the night. The next weekend, he asked me to tailgate with him for a football game, but I was at my nephew's birthday party and I had to work that night. He invited me over after I got off work to watch movies with him, and we did sleep together then. Since then, we've spent at least one day every weekend together and we talk all the time. However, I don't know what we are exactly. I always spend the night when I go over there, and we watch movies and talk so we're not just sleeping together and leaving. He texts me during the week just to see what I'm up to or to ask me how classes are going. And I'm pretty sure I'm the only person he's sleeping with, at least on a regular basis. However, he's in grad school and has told me that he doesn't have time for a serious commitment right now. So that's where I'm kind of confused. He treats me like his girlfriend, and we've gone on other dates in this time, but I have no idea what we're doing. It's been six months since this started, and I'm okay with this just being a friends with benefits thing if that's what he wants, but I'd just like to know if that's what it is. He's really hot and cold with everything. If anyone has any idea what this is, I'd really appreciate your input. I'm completely lost!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 March 2013):
 he told you he doesn't have time for a serious commitment now.
how are you confused?
he treats you like a friend with benefits.
you text all the time
you see him all the time
how is hot and cold?
what's confusing?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): Sounds to me like he isn't sure either!
Next time you get together, just kind of ask...
Or you could just go with the flow and see what develops - there is that old saying if it's not broken why fix it? Sometimes we all look for a conventional situation that doesn't matter as wouldn't suit us anyway.
Maybe just treat him with respect, enjoy all your time together and see what happens?
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