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He's putting his drinking before me... !

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been dating my current boyfriend for 1year and 3 months. When we started dating we were really close and always loved to hang out and things like that. recently he has been prioritzing his drinking before n e thing else... including me. he has started to not take any consideration for my feelings, and not let me know where he is. i dont know if it is because he has a problem or he just doesnt want to be around me.

what should i do? should i break up or not?

i would really appreciate some advice

thanks

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (9 April 2007):

kenny agony auntI think this is something you have got to speak to you boyfriend about. Sit him down and tell him you are worried about his drinking, and about how despondant he has become in the relationship.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, he may change after you have spoken. If he dosen't you may have to consider ending the relationship.

Good luck x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

its difficult to tell from what you say wether he has a drink problem (you dont describe any symptoms other than pub presence without your knowledge).people with drink problems display symptoms such as changes in personality, increased accidents,lowering health, decreased interest in non-drink activities.

i'll hazard a guess to say that he wants time away from you, hanging out is ussually used to describe doing nothing, if you did stuff together you would have said what it was. sounds to me like you had him under the thumb with you all the time and knew of his whereabouts. now he wants to regain his old friends and regain his own life you feel left out as it sounds like you lack one of your own. get a life and have fun, when he is out pubing it you should go out with your friends or do something you enjoy on your own. being in a relationship does not mean you have to be together 24 7. maybe though he is lying about the pub and is cheating on you(personally i think this is less likely than he got bored of "hanging out and things like that"(which sounds like a lot of spending time in one anothers company without doing any activities). try to bring some spontanaity into the relationship-go out for meals or do some outdoor activities or join a club

this isnt me having a go its me telling you that the fact you described your relationship so briefly suggests it lacks variety and depth, good luck

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