A
female
age
26-29,
*.Carmen
writes:i'm sorry it's long but i really really need advice and help on this, so can you please help me, i would really appreciate it.my ex broke up with me through a text saying that i couldnt fix it and that he was sorry and he loved me to but that we coudn't be together. That he had been going through it for the longest time, hoping we could fix it, but that we couldn't and that he was sorry.But after a few days we would text he would flirt with me and i would try everything i could, just so i wouldn't flirt with him, because i didn't want to get hurt even more than what i was.Because of the break up and then after a few weeks i had mentioned a new guy talking to me. He had sounded happy about it, but i told him that i didn't want to move on because i wanted to still try working it out with him. That i needed just one more chance to get it right, like he needed one more chance(long story) but he wouldnt give me another chance. he said that just to give this other guy a chance.but this other guy is making moves on me wayy too fast and i told my ex that, but he still wanted me to give this new guy a chanceAnd i don't know why, because he was talking about marring me some day and that he couldn't picture his life with out me. Again i wish i knew why he wants to put me in the arms of another guy after all the things he said. But for a while i thought breaking up was better for us, because i knew i had problems of my own that i needed to work on, and i also knew that we both weren't happy. But i do want to give us another chance cause he was NOT ONLY MY BOYFRIEND BUT ALSO MY BEST FRIEND HE WAS LIKE MY EVERYTHING i could talk to him about everything and anything i could even talk to him about things i couldnt talk to my parents my best friends and my family he was always right there to listen to me and to give me adivse.... i don't know if its him i'm missing or if its somethings else... by the way it was a long distance relationship and i also think that might have an affect on why it didnt work because its hard for me to have trust in guys cause of the fact that ive been used and hurt to many times already so its even harder for me to trust a long distance guy but this break up has seriously been a wake up call for me. He's like the only one i think about all the time and i just really wish he would give me another chance.....
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 NOT ONLY MY BOYFRIEND BUT ALSO MY BEST FRIEND HE WAS LIKE MY EVERYTHING.......
Ok, first of all you need to face some very important facts.
No 1. Until you are in your mid twenties or so you will probably go through several romances before you meet the man of your dreams and mate for life. Relationships at your age are NOT going to last forever, so you need to remind yourself of that going into them. Make sure you keep a good balance between other friends and activities and your boyfriend. Because if you give everything else up for a boy you are going to feel lost everytime someone breaks up with you. Just like you do right now.
2. an online relationship has both good and bad points.
The good thing about them is that you are forced to do a lot of talking which helps you feel like your are really getting to know a person well without being pressured for a more physical relationship. The bad part is that it is easier for the other person to lie to you about many many things, and you would have no way of knowing.
3. Online relationships often feel more real then they are.
I'm sorry but even though a relationship can start online they don't get real until the people involved take steps to get together in person. Thats when you truely get to know the real person you have been chatting with.
Ok now for your current problem. You have been hurt in the past so now you only feel safe with online boyfriends. And now he has let you down too. Plus the one real boy you do meet is making moves on you, as you say, way to fast.
Well maybe he is and you should tell him that. Tell him you want to take things slow. If he doesn't respect that don't see him again. But is it possible that your just not ready to date yet because you still have feeling for your ex? If you do, then wait a little while longer before you try to start dating again.
As for getting him to give you another chance, well unless one of you is planning to move closer to the other in the very near future, I wouldn't count on it happening. It sounds like he cares about you, but he wants you to move on with a "real" boy closer to home. And I bet that he wants to be able to do the same with a "real" girl near him.
Maybe he already has. I know its hard to hear but until you're older and free to travel around the state or the country you going to have to date the boys who live in the same general area as you.
Maybe the boy you are seeing now will work out maybe he won't. But it is a step in the right direction and will help your broken heart to heal.
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