A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey cupids, ive been with my boyfriend now for just under a year. but recently hes been talking about starting a family together! its scared me a little. we only lost our virginities to each other, about 6 weeks agoo, i mean to be honest, hes 20, hes more mature and probably ready for a baby, but im seventeen! im not old enough, mature enough, financially, physically or emotionally stable! i forget myself sometimes id be stuffed with a little one. i am in a happy relationship, and i hope that one day we can have children, but i want to be older, have money and a career behind me, i wanna know that its something were both ready for and know we are in the right situation for a child, and yeah one day id like a house full of children, i always have!.. but he wont listen! hes sure its the best thing for us, hes trying his hardest to get that 'heat of the moment' feeling going... so that we 'forget' to use something, i know what hes doing! and its scaring me, i know, and he knows im not ready for kids, i have a funny feeling hes gonna likee put pin pricks in condoms.. maybe hes not that shallow! i dunno :S im so confused lately, its all hes spoke about! i dunno how to tell him wihthout leaving him that im happy the way we are for now! please help me someone?x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): If you're not ready to have a baby, and he's pressuring you to have have one, he's certainly not more mature than you, regardless of his age. I think I understand what's going on in his head - he had sex with for the first time a few weeks ago, and now he's thinking "this is the one, the perfect relationship which will last forever, why not have a baby?". A lot of young people think like that, and it does you credit for being so mature about it and considering the future.Find a form of birth control that you can rely on, and really sit him down and have a good chat with him about this. You might find that he gets a bit less intense and realises that you need to wait.Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I think you need to be really stern here and lay it down!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I suggest really sitting him down and saying ì dont want kids just now i dont feel ready and stop pressuring me for them`. i think if you still dont feel that he wont try to get you pregnant by getting an implant in your arm.he mostly likely wont feel it.you do have to wear a bandage on your arm for a few days but you can hardly feel it in there.you can choose wear it goes in your arm.to explain the bandage just say you got a flu injection or something like that if you dont feel like telling him you got one.i dont think you should tell him you get an implant as it will hurt him but tell him later on.also the pill is a good idea too though he may find them.mind you you could hide them in your socks.
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A
female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (19 June 2009):
Girl you need to run he is'nt even trying to listen to your wishes i believe it sounds like he is trying to trap you so that you will have to marry and stay with him. He is young so why is he in such a hurry to have children now when before you had sex everything was great you need to get on the pill and not tell him because he will get desperate enough to do something. I also feel he need to acknowledge and respect your feeling on this matter so you might have to put yourself first and cut your relations off until he see's the light i can see wanting children but if you are not ready it would only hurt the baby in the long run what is wrong with him girl there is more to this story because i cant see why he would do a 180 like this unless he feels he will be losing you please stay wise and watch out for yourself and dont get trapped because it will affect the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): WELL DONE!!!! {{{{ APPLAUSE}}}} and much respect to you!
I wish more kids your age thought about the consequences and the commitment of having children at a young age, if they did perhaps our country would not be in the mess it is now.
If you are that worried about him sabotaging condoms etc, get yourself on the pill too. As you were both virgins (and hopefully have been faithful) the risk of std should be minimal.
Talk to him, tell him you are not ready, he should respect your wishes, if he doesnt, get rid of him.
You are obviously more sensible than he is.
Take Care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): Good for you! It's fabulous that you want to wait until you're able to make a proper home for a child. Stick to your guns -- you absolutely have the right idea.
If the thought even flitted through your head that he might deliberately damage a condom, what on earth are you doing with this person? A good relationship means trust, and that's such an incredibly untrustworthy action. I'd be seriously reconsidering being with him.
Regardless, it is essential that you adopt a form of birth control that does *not* depend on him in any way. The pill, implants, whatever.
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