A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like this is just going to be one long rant but I can't help it. I need to get this out.I've been with my fiance since June 2010. We've been engaged since January of this year. Our relationship started off as me with a desperate need to get away from my abusive ex and his desperate desire to get laid (and be a friend). The first few months were pretty awesome considering all we did was each other. After that, it started going downhill when I reaized just how pessimistic he is about everything and his disgusting lack of personal hygiene.I mainly can't deal with the former because I've had too much shit to get through and I just want to be happy. Believe me, I've tried figuring out how to get through to him but I feel like he's pre-conditioned to be unhappy; which boggles my mind as he was an incredbly sheltered and spoiled only child. But I suppose I can't relate too well considering I'm the oldest of three and was born to two teenage parents.He's told me that I don't listen to him and I just yell at him when he rants about his life and how 'unaccomplished' he is at age 24, but it's always the same bullshit and he could achieve his goals if he had the f*cking motivation to do it all! I've told him time and again that he can do whatever he sets his mind to but I don't understand the excuses anymore.It took me a full six years to finish what should've been a two-year college degree but I got it done. I was absolutely exhausted and stressed out and wanted to quit many times but I kept with the grind-stone and he was a huge part of that success. If he didn't pay our cheap rent and cell phone, I would still be working on that damn thing!We've had so many (So. Many.) conversations and arguments and all that crap about my feelings and his feelings and almost breaking up every single time. We have actually admitted to each other that the only reasons we're still together is because he has nowhere else to go (we currently live with my grandparents and his dad is still working on his house project) and he pays the cell phone bill (I'm currently looking for my own, affordable plan).These last four years have gone by so fast that the only way I even remember most of it is through pictures. I love him dearly and I care about him but he needs to buck up and deal with his shit, and frankly, so do I.On another note, I've reconnected with a friend of mine from high school. He's everything I thought my fiance was when we started dating and I've known him long enough to realize that he's actually super laid back... about everything. He's also hilarious and intelligent and annoyingly sexy. I like him a lot but I also have morals and they've been telling me to back off and deal with my shit at home.What gets to me, however, is that my fiance has repeatedly told me, 'You get a freebie, I get a freebie.' I've always thought he was absolutely insane to even suggest that because I'm his woman and he's my man, yeah?Well, it turns out it's because he wants more sexual experience (in his words, I'm the only woman he's ever been with even though he did, technically, penetrate his ex-girlfriend) and he 'just knows' that I want to sleep with my friend from high school. And while both are entirely true, that could straight up ruin our relationship. Neither of us are about that life; cheating on each other and what not. It would be a downward spiral and we've already got enough issues to deal with.I've come to this conclusion a long time ago: he's only passionate about me when it's convenient for him. The little things went out the window about 3.5 years ago and he sucks at comforting me. It doesn't help that his mother is a relatonship leech but that's an entirely different story that, admittedly, has a lot to do with his shitty outlook on life.Anyway, I need help. What should be done in a situation like this? Thanks.
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cheap, engaged, ex girlfriend, fiance, his ex, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, theesxmmi +, writes (11 August 2014):
Sure you would be better off with your high school guy. You don't need a selfish man like him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2014): I cant stand your bf. Do you love him? I think so. But can u afford to lose him? Or are ok wasting your time with him?
I do believe that we all deserve to be happy not exhausted and stress. If you love and cant afford to lose him, i understand. We all have our stupid moments, feelings an decisions we cant control at times.
However if you wana be sincerely happy, just leave. How he treats you is so disrespectful. Respect is a must in a relationship. If he cant at least respect you as his gf, why stay?
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