A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:The guy I like at the moment is four years older than me. We get along very well and I feel like he likes me. However, I'm not sure if he pays extra attention to me because I am his youngest friend or because he actually likes me. Age isn't a problem for me, but to a lot of my friends, it is. We are both still in high school. I'm a freshmen and he's a senior so right now, this stuff matters to us (or our friends..)Does he like me or only think of me as a friend? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): For your age, yes a big age gap. That becomes less significant as you get older tho. He prob thinks of mainly as a friend because of this gap. Best to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): My wife and I are 4 years apart, and have been together for many years. But then, for example, one couple we know(bf/gf), just moved into a house together a couple of years ago,.. they're in their early twenties, he's 3 years younger than her.. They just broke up after admitting they've been arguing alot since they moved in together. The deal breakers were she wanted to get married and start making babies, and he doesn't want any part of that for awhile. He wants to just have fun and not have that commitment.
The big lesson I always find with people is they figure out how well they'll get along when they move in together and live with each other for at least 2 or 4 years. You're very young yet, so I wouldn't worry about how well you'll get along in the long-term future, because it'll be a long time before you most likely start living on your own and have the opportunity and choice to live together with someone you really like. To be completely honest, yes, at your age, that's a big age gap, and I'm not even sure if it's legal for him to sleep with you right now, aside from having any future with him.
I know you're looking for whether he just likes you or not, but I thought I'd give you some insight on when the age gaps really make or break a relationship.. The living together usually exposes when one's too mature for the other, or more committed than the other.
Right now, the only thing the age gap will mean for you is whether he's legally not fit to be with you or you with him. Please check into that, since alot of your friends may be wondering that themselves. For example, he may be under 18 now, but then in a year be an adult trying to be with a minor. Geographically, the legal ages are different, that's why I say please get a trusted adult(other than him), like a parent or uncle, to help you look into that. If everything's cool legally, then the age will only mean he may be more interested in a year or two about going away to another state to college, or living on his own, where you will still be in school, with only the goal of graduating, so you can afford more options in the future.
But then you can also date someone your exact age, and graduate at the same time, and one of you decide to go away to school or work somewhere else, and the other, not.
Just have fun being friends in school, and only date him if it's legal in your area at all times.. but don't take things too serious until you're an adult of at least 18 or 20 years old. Only then will life really start to take off, as sure as you may feel about people at your age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): You should get to know him better first. If he is really a nice guy / type that you'll like then you can go for it
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A
female
reader, UnderageMonstrosity  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Currently I'm seeing a guy a couple of years older than me. While some would say It's rather disgusting I quite enjoy it, although we don't do anything sexual in the slightest.
A relationship can vary in many ways, but the best way to see is to just ask him, and see what he says. If he values your relationship he will not lie to you, and if your friends are so worried about it, explain to them how you feel, and see if they understand about the way you feel.
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