A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend i fight heaps and then after we have a fight he says he loves me and thinks everything is ok but its not it always happens and lately ive been to scared to sleep because of the same dream i keep having buts only lately when we have a big fight and now i get so tired and angry and i dont know what to do plz help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 The reason why there's arguments in relationship is due to a build of stress, most of the time, because of money. Some people feel better after letting it out verbally, some need another way to let it out.
I think your boyfriend feels better after it gets out verbally and that you may need to find your own special way to let it out too.
Some just don't think about it, some needs to work it out physically (Gym), some express it through art.
Arguments don't destroy relationships, people do.
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 Hun, what I'm about to say is probably not what you want to hear. But I'm saying it for your sake, not just to get a kick out of it or something.
You have to think about whether this is what a relationship should feel like:
-can't sleep
-unsolved arguements
-upset
-always uses "I love you" to make it all better but it never does.
I think the only way out of this one is to end it I'm afraid, sweet. It's very hard, I know, but I was once told that the end of a relationship is like a plaster. You can rip it off quickly and it won't hurt as much or you can tug at it slowly and drag it off painfully. If you carry on this relationship you're both going to drag yourselves down and become very unhappy. By ending it now, it is painful, but not half as painful as when you are giving each other hurtful words and it ruins even the most intimate and precious memories you hold in your heart and you end up not even being able to remain friends in some cases.
I know how difficult this seems. But remind yourself that this isn't what a relationship that will work, feels like.
If there are constant arguements and you're still unhappy when he thinks everything is fine then there is a problem in the communication between you and I have a feeling that you're not telling him that you're still upset because it's easier and it won't cause any more problems and possibly because you're really scared of losing him. But at the end of the day hun, this makes it worse because you arn't communicating your feelings toward each other and all this anger and upset you bottle up will one day open up and be like Pandora's box.
I think that it is best all round if you talk to him and say that it can't continue because of the fact that you both don't see eye to eye and that you often don't feel like you are happy.
You're young, sweet. I understand that this is hard for you, but I do believe this is best for the both of you. I'm sorry if I have offended or upset in some way.
Take care xx
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