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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is going away for basic training in January and is going to be gone for 6 months or so. We're so happy and in love and he's very serious with me and tells me everything will be okay and he's willing to stick with me and be with me when he comes back. He loves me alot and I'm so scared of how things will change when he comes back. Does anyone know from experience how people change when they come back?
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female
reader, hannahuk +, writes (6 February 2007):
when my bf went into his training at first,i was thinking exactly the same as u,he will change,but in a good way,the time apart from eachother makes u miss an love each other more,an it ll b more exciting to see eachother,plus ull get sum time to chill an hav ur space,ull still b able to talk n text every day,now me an my bf are gettin married an ill get 2go an live with him.xxx
A
male
reader, USMCNJ +, writes (15 December 2005):
Look at my username and you will know that i talk from experience.
I'm sorry to say this but he will change, a lot. i know i did, it took me 5 years to realize just how much i changed, even though everyone was telling me that i did.
But the change is a double bladed sword. For one he will see a lot people be cheated on by their girlfriends/wives. This will make it hard for him to trust you and it will make him into a more jealous person. On the other hand, when he comes out he will be seeking attention and acceptance. This leads to a lot of engagements/ marriages after basic training. From what I’ve seen these marriages usually don’t work, because the guy rushes into it.
There will also be other changes, the best word that describes them is “brainwashed”.
The bad thing is that you will see these changes, and he will not.
The good thing is that eventually he will change back, but it takes a lot of time. I’ve seen people do it in a few months. But usually it takes a few years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Hi hun,
I know exactley how your feeling. My boyfriend is in the Marines and when we first got together he was just joining up. All the same questions went through my head, will our relationship work, will he change etc and it is really hard, i almost found it harder being the one left back at home because life felt normal (well except my man being away) i could get on with day to day life, see friends, go out and he was always left out of it. But if you both stay true to each other time does make it easier. And as for the will he change question, well i dont know your boyfriend personally but mine showed signs of discipline and dedication (also a rather nice six pack!) but the dedication side rubbed off onto being dedicated to our realationship. Training didnt change the man i fell in love with and neither did being in Afganistan or Iraq. Be good to each other, look out for one and other and be strong when things start to feel too much and you maybe feel like giving up coz trust me after your time apart when you are finally reunited it will be the best feeling in the world. I wish you all the luck x
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