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female
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anonymous
writes: I had a problem with my boyfriend being to busy all the time. I talked to him about it and he thinks just because he does things for us that it should make up for us not doing anything together. I love him so much and i wish he could see that. When I asked him to separate for awhile he got kinda mad. So what do I do? He doesn't want to leave and he doesn't really want to be here. I really don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005): I wanted you to know i have the same problemand sympathize! I moved from Canada to US to be with my other half and he travels 4 our of 7 days a week and when he's home he's so tired he can barely speak sometimes let alone be intimate or communicative. I am a very open loving person and desire his company and to be intimate with him in all wyas and my point is, even when he's physically home he's often mentally "absent" due, he says, to career pressures. He's told me this schedule will not be forever but I am concerned that by that time, we won't have much of a relationship to get back to.
What I am doing is hoping for change in circumstance of behavior which may be futile but I love him. Meantime I am trying to be as independent in a new city and country as I can be, and make more new friends, and enjoy MY life so when and if he's ready to come around I will be the full and happy person I want to be.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (14 December 2005):
 He is obviously just doing what some men do and freeling that their role within the family is providing for the people he loves. This is not a bad thing, hey, at least he's doing something, but it takes more than money and belongings to make a relationship work.
I think you need to speak to him. Tell him you're very grateful for everything he does for you and you're lucky to have him. Also speak to him about the other aspects of a relationship that you think are getting pushed to one side because of this. Let him know he needs to do more than bring home to bacon to keep you happy!!
A successful relationship is based on many things but a very important one is communication. He obviously loves you and feels offended when you said you wanted to separate, as he feels he's doing everything a man should be doing. Remind him there's more to life than money and get that spark back. Good luck.
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