A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im going crazyyy please help me... recently ive been seeing a guy and at the moment we have become soo close and really care about each other we became slightly physical and shared many moments, kisses and stories... i then decided to ask him out offically and he said he wasnt ready for anything just yet. he said it was to quick to start a relationship just yet but promised that i am the one he wants to be with. i was insist on why he doesnt want to be with me and he said im an honest guy i can say il be with u but i wouldnt be true to me or u as i wont be with 100% and thats not fair... i kinda understood n we carried on with the way things were...i then realised that this wasnt fair the guy was making the cake and eating it too he had me as well as the committment free lifestyle... i was better then that right? so i made the decision to tell him that we cant continue like that... i said to him its now got to stage where its all or nothing... i said to him to take a time out away from him to make up his mind whether he wants to be with me or doesnt coz he cant have it all... he said "babe u can have it all from me time money trust committment just not the title but i promise that will come in time." what the hell man thats what i thought. i said to him i have to walk away. i cant carry on like this. in my eyes i only see two options i either walk away from you or i continue being friends with no benifits. either way im gonna be hurting coz im not getting what i want... if im around u il be hurting coz im not getting u and if i walk away il stil be hurting coz again im not getting u... this has been going on for a few days now and im finding it really hard to walk away from him coz i dont wnna loose him he's too big a part of my life and he he is doing everything to persuade me into seeing his way... he said when im with u i know u are happy why are u walkin away from happiness lifes to short to always take the safer option and easier path. he says why fix something if its not broken... u r happy when ur with me and i am too when im with u then why are u trying to change it... i told him that what im doing with u goes against my morals and the way ive been brought up... doing intimate things with u without actuali being with u is wrong... and his response to that was basically u preech morals and self respect but u wouldnt have stayed over if that was true... this annoyed me was he saying that i dont have morals or any self respect?? so basically hes saying if being with me makes u happy why are u walking away from it im givin u all i can at this moment... i dont understand i dont wnna walk away i want to be there and i want to carry on with him the way things are but i know that that is wrong... being intimate without being with someone is wrong then why do i do it when im with him?? i dont understand what to do i really want to go cold turkey on him but i cant we've become to close to just walk away right... pleaseeeeeee help me someonee!!!!!!! just tell me what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok guys a little update i finally decided to get the courage and walk away... and i did and ever since i told him he's steped up his game.... he said he didnt wnnna loose me no matter what... he said if you really want a relationship then fine i will sacrifice everythign for you... i do wnnna be with you
for now ive been ignoring him, his phone calls and texts.. he says he wants to meet me and talk and hes now ready and prepares... he said by me goin away for 2days it really made him think...
hes soo persistant and really says he doesnnt wnna looos me... what should i doo... carry on with this or what
A
female
reader, Baby Blue  +, writes (17 July 2008):
I get what your talking about..but think about it i mean are you really going to give up your pride and respect for a guy? because its just not worth it.I know it is hard for you because you really like him but he does not want a relationship.I think you should just walk away even if it is the hardest thing to do..just do it and trust me you will definetly get over it.If you dont walk away i promise you that he is going to see you as a door mat.He will never give you the respect you deserve.It says your around 18-21 years of age so why are you so worried about him.Your still young bet your sexy too and there are going to be a lot more other guys much much much more better than him.Personally if i was in your situation i would walk away because i have dignity and pride and i am a prize i would not compromise my pride for nothing.And i think you should do the same.
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